They Rely On Hope. What Do I Rely On? - Tommyinnit Adoption AU

Chapter 174

Tommy slowly peeled the tap away from the wrapping, being careful not to damage the paper, looked up to check Wilbur wasn't suddenly upset, and then slipped the thin rectangular shape from the wrapping. It was a plastic thing that seemed to have an opening on the thin side, but on the cover was this growing gradient of shadows that got lighter towards the middle, framing the illustration of the boy with blood dripping from his face into his hand.

"You don't have to keep the case, it's just an art piece I like," Wilbur explained hastily, and Tommy realised he'd been staring at it too long. Wilbur thought he didn't like it. That was dangerous.

"No, no it's good, it's cool," Tommy replied, hastily trying to recover as he opened the case. Inside was a large round disc, too big to be a CD, but with that sort of feel.

"It's a vinyl," Wilbur explained, "I have a record player you can use, but this just has a collection of songs that make me think of you."

"Th-thank you," Tommy whispered, staring at it in awe. The last time he'd gotten a gift- a proper one, not whatever Puffy would try to find on short notice in between houses sometimes- the last time had been a gift Tubbo had made for him. He'd found some threads from both his and Tommy's hoodies and he'd plaited them together into a bracelet, saying that they would always be together. Tommy liked to think the two strands were still threaded together, even though it had been taken from him not long after.

Now, staring at this gift, also made specifically for him, Tommy couldn't help but think that maybe, just maybe, Wilbur hadn't been lying when he had said he was Tommy's brother. What foster brother would just do this? Unless it was some insanely cruel joke he didn't get, which he supposed was more then possible.

"Do you want to listen to it?" Wilbur asked, and shakily, Tommy nodded. He could feel the way his whole body shook with anxiety as he stood, following Wilbur despite the insane number of risks, and sitting when Wilbur offered for him to, swaying to the soft music, or bopping his head to the more fast paced and energetic ones. He let his mind rest in the music for a while, relaxing in the comfort it gave him. Although some of the songs felt dangerously accurate, and Tommy couldn't help but tense up, afraid of just how weak Wilbur knew he was.

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Phil POV:

Phil listened to what he could faintly hear coming from the two boys, not necessarily eavesdropping considering he wasn't trying to make out what they were saying. No, it was more just the comfort that they were talking, that Tommy was back and Techno was back and Wil was safe and everything might just be ok.

It took him a while to move, but eventually he did, checking in on Techno, who wasn't far off sleep, so he left him to sleep. The doctors had said extra sleep would be needed, same for Tommy. Besides, everyone was coming over tomorrow to throw a late Christmas party. Techno would need his energy for that.

Phil headed to his office, slowing slightly outside Wilbur's room, hearing the song that was playing. It was a good choice, one of Phil's favourites, and he could tell Tommy liked it too based off of the kid's soft humming along. He only knew it was Tommy thanks to Wilbur's singing, and it made his heart melt. Tommy was learning to be loved. He could only hope that would continue.

The song faded off and it was only then when Phil realised how king he'd stopped to listen to them. He went to continue walking when a loud crash came from inside the room, the new song cutting off and the sound of someone sobbing rang out.

Instantly Phil was rushing in to see Tommy pushing Wil away.

"Leave me alone, you can't sing that, you can't, you can't, leave me, please, please go," Tommy begged in between sobs and shaky breathes. Wilbur backed up, looking stung and hurt.

"I'll try, go wait outside for a minute," Phil told Wilbur softly, before sitting on the floor in front of Tommy's curled up form, "Hey kid, what's going on?"

"That's his song, his song, not Wilbur's. His song. He- he- that's-," Tommy stumbled, his heart seeming to break as he insisted it again and again. His? Who was Tommy talking about?

"Can you talk to me Tommy? What's going on?"

"His song. His song. His song," Tommy repeated, rocking himself back and forth to the rhythm his own words had created. His head was tucked in, forehead on his knees, shoulders shaking. Such a small ball of limbs and pain.

"Can I..." Phil asked, intending to offer some form of help, but stupidly he reached out and touched Tommy's wrist and the boy shrieked, his hands covering his head, instincts taking over even more.

"Let me Dad," Techno said, standing on his one uninjured foot, a crutch in hand to hold him up. He called Milo over, encouraging the dog to move to Tommy. The poor thing was swinging it's head wildly, seeming uncertain who to comfort, pain emanating from all of them.

"Tommy, hey, hey it's ok, it's me, I'm not going to hurt you, no collar, see?" Techno said, pointing to the scarred neck that used to have a collar on it, "no collar, no danger, ok? Just me, just me."

Phil couldn't help but look away from the scars on his son's neck, scars that reminded him of how he'd failed, how he'd let his son be taken, be hurt. Tommy however, did as Techno asked, looking up to see the distinct lack of collar.

"No collar, no hurt?" Tommy asked, sounding like a small frightened child, which was exactly what he was.

"No collar, no hurt," Techno agreed, "you're safe. Can you tell me what's going on?"

"His song..." Tommy repeated, still giving the small unhelpful piece of an answer he'd given Phil.

"Who's song? Someone important?"

"Tubbo's. Tubbo's song," Tommy replied, and Phil could feel the way his heart shattered. He knew how Tubbo had died. Far too young to do something like that, yet it had happened nonetheless.

"Tubbo's song?" Techno repeated, his voice impossibly soft, giving Tommy plenty of room to speak. His hands were out, but they were rested loosely on the surface in front of him, clearly not with any plans to hurt Tommy. Phil made a mental note of that, a mental note of all of this. Techno understood Tommy on another level he couldn't even begin to understand and it made him better at helping the kid. If Phil learnt from Techno, maybe he too could help.

"His song, Tubbo's song," Tommy insisted, his voice breaking, which only served to shatter Phil's heart more.

"Can you tell me how I can fix this? Do you not want to hear the song, or do you want control over it, or warning? Can you talk to me about that?"

Tommy whispered something Phil couldn't make out, so he stepped a few paces forward, hearing the last words, "It's Tubbo's, not his. Wilbur has no right to sing that song. I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I know it's bad, I know it's unfair, but I can't Tech, I can't. It's his."

"Ok, ok, we won't play it again, ok? We're sorry, we will make sure it doesn't play, ok?"

"Does this-," Tommy started, before cutting himself off. That reminded Phil of what both Puffy and Wilbur had talked to him about. Tommy didn't like asking questions. Something had happened and Tommy thought questions were dangerous

"You can ask Tommy, it's ok," Techno encouraged him softly. Mentally Phil was cheering Tommy along, encouraging him, telling him he could do it. Physically, Phil stayed silent, but when Tommy continued his question it was hard to hold in the cheer he so desperately wanted to let out.

"Does this mean I don't like the song? Because I think I do, I think I do but- but I need Tubbo for it. I need Tubbo. I need my Tubbo."

"No, it doesn't mean you don't like the song, it just means the song reminds you of someone you wish was still by your side and that it hurts because you remember they aren't."

If Phil's heart hadn't been in a million pieces already it would be now, looking down at his son with pride. It wasn't him who had given the boy those words, that was all Techno, but it reminded Phil of how much the kid had grown since he first came here, scared and uncertain and so very lost.

Words:1500

A/N:Happy birthday to @b_umblebee_1 I hope u enjoyed this gift!!!!