They Rely On Hope. What Do I Rely On? - Tommyinnit Adoption AU

Chapter 84

Tommy stared numbly at the spider plush Wilbur had passed to him. It was just as adorable as the one he had found, but it was bigger.

"You can have the keychain one as well of course, but you should get to have a proper sized comfort plush too," Wilbur explained, his voice soft as he gave Tommy another one of those sad looks he so often had. Tommy wished Wilbur wouldn't look at him like that. It reminded him of how Tubbo had looked at him when Tommy took a punch to protect him. It didn't feel right coming from someone else. He didn't understand why it would come from Wilbur at all. Was Wilbur faking it? Trying to mess with him?

"Thank you?" Tommy mumbled, not quite sure if he should be thanking Wilbur or making a run for it now.

"You don't need to thank me, Tommy, I just want you to feel safe and happy," Wilbur insisted, his voice soft, and something in it made Tommy want to trust him. Tommy logically knew it made no sense, he had no reason to trust Wilbur. He knew how dangerous people could be. He knew that they could seem fine for so long and then turn into the worst houses there are, and it would hurt all the more because he trusted them. People knew how to hurt Tommy, and Tommy knew that they planned to hurt him. He just had to draw out the ok part for as long as possible and when it went badly, he'd get out eventually.

Wilbur was still holding the plushy out towards Tommy, and cautiously Tommy took it, watching Wilbur's eyes as he did so, waiting for any sign of danger. None came, and Tommy took a deep, relieved breath. Right now he was safe, even if there was still that nagging feeling that someone was watching him, he knew there was no one there. It was just Wilbur and him and a few random shoppers who weren't giving Wilbur and Tommy so much as a second glance. Wilbur wasn't mad at him, and no one was watching him. Right now he was safe, or at least safer.

"Is there anything else you would like in your room? Anything you've had before that made you feel safe? It can be anything at all," Wilbur offered, and only one thing came to mind, the stars on Wilbur's roof that had glowed last night. It had been beautiful. It had felt safe. It had felt good. Tommy was so used to staring at the roof lost in painful thoughts, but last night he'd been able to watch them and relax. He hadn't analysed the cracks and wondered how flawed the roof was, how likely it was to crash down on him in a storm. He hadn't stared at the peeling paint wondering if someone would blame him for its poor quality. He hadn't even thought about the quality of the roof, he had just watched the stars. It had felt better than anything before, but how was he supposed to ask for that? How was he supposed to say that he wanted those? He didn't even know what they were called, or how expensive they were. What if they were super expensive and Wilbur got mad at him for wanting it?

"I want to buy you at least one thing, preferably more, but at least one thing to make your room feel like it really is yours," Wilbur insisted and Tommy hesitated, unsure what to do. Wilbur had the stars, so maybe that was a good sign. Maybe if he said those, Wilbur would think of it as a thing of respect, that Tommy looked up to him or something. Maybe it was a safe option. He wasn't sure, but he didn't know what else to get.

"I kinda liked the stars on your roof?" Tommy said quietly, making sure his tone told Wilbur it was an option, not something Tommy was asking for. It would say that he wanted it, but not that he expected it. It was simply an answer.

"Yeah, those are great," Wilbur smiled, before turning and leading Tommy to where they were. Tommy carefully selected a small pack, the cheapest there, and Wilbur didn't argue this time, although he didn't seem ecstatic about it. Tommy didn't know if Wilbur didn't like that Tommy was getting any, or if he didn't like that Tommy wasn't getting enough.

"Do you want some fairy lights too?" Wilbur asked and Tommy hesitated, trying to gage Wilbur's tone. Plenty of his past foster families would say something like that, but they wouldn't mean it, instead implying that Tommy was crazy for getting what he already had, but usually they had a specific tone when they said it, and Wilbur didn't. It sounded like it was real, but he wasn't sure. Wilbur had said he could ask questions right? Well maybe he could work with that?

"Do you think I should get them?" Tommy asked, his voice barely above a whisper, nerves filling him, terrified that it was the wrong thing to do, or that Wilbur hadn't meant it when he said questions were good.

"If you like them, then yeah, we should get them, it's up to you, but I'm genuinely happy to get whatever you want Tommy," Wilbur replied, his voice certain yet gentle, as though he actually meant it. Maybe he did? Tommy didn't even know if he liked fairy lights though, in fact he didn't know what they were. He scanned the aisle for them, hoping there would be a labeled box of them that had a picture showing him what they were. Sure enough he found the box and recognised them as the lights Puffy had taken him on a drive to see about two years ago. She had said they were Christmas lights. It had been Christmas Eve after he was thrown out of a house when she drove him around. She was technically supposed to just take him straight to the next place, but she said she wanted to give him at least a little bit of the Christmas experience. Eventually she had been forced to drop him off at that next house, and told him that she believed it would be a Christmas wish come true and a good house. She'd been wrong, and was back a week later to save him. Still, that memory of driving with Puffy and seeing the lights stuck with him. It had meant a lot to him, being one of the few good memories he had.

"Am I allowed to have them?" Tommy asked nervously, and Wilbur gave him another one of those smiles he so often had. It was sad but yet also somewhat happy. Tommy really didn't understand it at all, and he had no clue what Wilbur was thinking about when he gave Tommy those sad smiles.

"Yes, definitely, as I said, you can have whatever you want. Which of these do you want?" Wilbur asked, and Tommy looked at them all, before settling on the red and green ones that were technically labeled as Christmas lights. They were the ones that reminded him the most of that drive with Puffy.

"I like these ones the most," Tommy said, pointing at them. He didn't know if Wilbur would approve, so he knew not to actually ask for them, but saying he liked it was slightly less risky. 

"We'll get those then," Wilbur agreed, picking the box up off the shelf. He didn't make a noise of complaint about the fact that they were Christmas lights and not fairy lights, and Tommy didn't know if that was because he didn't care, or if it was because they were the same thing.

"Thank you," Tommy said, relief flooding through him at Wilbur's relaxed tone. Nothing about Wilbur felt off. Nothing about Wilbur felt dangerous, other than the fact that he was Tommy's foster family.

"Is there anything else you want?" Wilbur asked, and Tommy shook his head, this was already too much. Wilbur hesitated a moment, his eyes closing as though going over a mental list, before they snapped open, "Oh, we were supposed to get you sheets!"

Tommy stared at him in stunned silence for a long moment, caught off guard by the sudden statement.

"The bed didn't come with sheets, we'll get some here," Wilbur explained, quickly leading Tommy to a different part of the store. Tommy stared at the wall of sheets numbly, not sure what to think. There were so many different colours and Tommy didn't know what he was supposed to do. Wilbur at least seemed to register his confusion, "What's your favourite colour?"

Shit. Tommy had told Techno it was blue, but the goal with that was because any blue would work, and it was a big range, but now he'd have to be more precise. He didn't know what to choose, well Wilbur had gotten him a white and red shirt...

"Red," Tommy decided, going with what he thought would please Wilbur.

Words: 1000

A/N: Currently staying at my cousins house to avoid the people with covid at my house lol, still able to write though, so don't worry about that :]