They Rely On Hope. What Do I Rely On? - Tommyinnit Adoption AU

Chapter 56

Tw: mentions of abuse, su!cide, survivors guilt,

After deciding Tommy wouldn't want to go back to sleep, nor talk, Eret took him out into the living room to watch something on her TV.

"Did you have any favourites you want to watch?" Eret asked, and Tommy shook his head. He didn't have any favourites because he had never watched any movies. Eret scrolled through the options before stopping on The Bee Movie, "Ranboo said you liked bees right? Wanna watch this one?"

No. No he didn't want to watch that one. That was Tubbo's to watch. If Tubbo didn't get to watch it why should he? He was already stealing Tubbo's life, he couldn't have this. He couldn't, but what else could he do? He couldn't say no. Not when Eret had just chosen it. He couldn't tell Eret that he didn't like her choice. He couldn't explain why. Couldn't tell her that he had lied. Couldn't say yes, couldn't say no.

"I don't mind," Tommy whispered, pulling his legs closer to his chest and the blanket further over his shoulders. He knew nothing he could do would protect him if Eret wanted to hurt him. He knew nothing he could do would ever keep him safe, but still he tried.

Eret played the movie, and Tommy forced down the choked sobs as he watched, knowing that Tubbo would've adored it. He closed his eyes and buried his face into his knees, trying to push down the guilt and fear and pain welling up inside him.

Tommy didn't know when he fell asleep, but this time at least he didn't dream. He knew he had fallen asleep, because he woke up and the movie was off, and Eret was moving around in the kitchen. When Tommy checked the time it was hours after he had first been woken up, and much later then he was supposed to get up.

He bounded to his feet, looking around desperately for any sign he had been told what he needed to do this morning. He didn't have long to get ready for school, and he didn't even know where the chores list was. He decided to go and see if maybe Eret knew.

He calmed his panicked breathing, and forced himself to walk into the kitchen as steadily and unfazed as he could, hiding his immense terror.

"Hey Tommy, breakfast is almost ready, you can sit there if you want," Eret smiled over her shoulder as she poured something into a frying pan. She had directed Tommy to the seats at the kitchen island, so Tommy sat.

"Did you sleep ok the second time?" Eret asked, not looking over as she did so.

"Yeah," Tommy replied quietly, and it was true, he had slept well, he hadn't dreamt. It had been nice.

"That's good," Eret smiled, piling food onto a plate and passing it over to Tommy. She grabbed something out of the fridge and put it next to his plate, before collecting a knife and fork, amd with a grin said, "Pancakes!"

She piled her own plate high and joined Tommy, who was staring at the food in confusion. Tommy didn't know if it was because she noticed his confusion, or just because she wanted to, but she grabbed the bottle of "maple syrup" whatever that was, and poured it over her "pancakes." Tommy copied her actions, and when she started to eat, he continued to copy her, worried that there would be a repeat of the cupcake incident.

The food was nice, better then anything Tommy had tasted before. Tommy had to admit, between Niki and Eret, neither had given him a food he didn't like, which was weird because Tommy rarely liked food. In fact, before coming here, the only food he had actually liked was the food Puffy sometimes got him from McDonalds between houses.

When Tommy finished his plate, Eret offered seconds, which Tommy cautiously turned down, having been full 2 pancakes before finishing his plate, but knowing he wasn't allowed to not finish. The big risk was that Eret might get upset about him not having seconds, thinking that Tommy didn't like it, which is far from the reality. Luckily, she didn't seem to mind. She made some more and told her parents they were ready to eat, before returning to Tommy.

"Do you want to come to school today, or do you want to take the day off?" Eret asked, and Tommy took a second to take that in. Was she offering for him to stay here, or suggesting he go back to Dream, or was she tricking him, trying to see if he wouldn't go to school, and therefore was lazy? He didn't know, but the safest option was school. He could deal with school.

"I'll go to school," Tommy decided and Eret asked him what he needed to get ready for school. Nothing, he still had his school bag.

"Tommy..." Eret started, before hesitating, clearly unsure if she should ask. Tommy tilted his head slightly, letting her know he wouldn't refuse her question. She hesitated for another second, then asked, "Is someone going to come looking for you, and if they do, do you want to be found?"

"I can't- I can't go back- please- please don't make me go back," Tommy said, panicking at the meaning behind Eret's words. He hadn't gone back last night. Dream would kill him for that. He would. This was the worst he had done while he was here. He couldn't run away only to be found again instantly. He couldn't!

"I'm not going to send you back Tommy, I was asking so I could know that I need to protect you from someone who comes looking. Everyone will be there to look after you ok? But that means we need to stay with you. We can't risk loosing you, but if you have at least one of us with you, you'll be safer," Eret explained, promising something Tommy didn't know if he'd ever get. Safety.

"Please don't let him find me," Tommy begged, not even trying to hide the terror in his voice. He couldn't go back to Dream. Not now. Dream would be furious. It would be too dangerous. Far too dangerous. He couldn't go back. He could never go back. The moment he had decided not to go back last night, he had known he would never be able to safely return. He had known the risk of Dream finding him after he had ran and yet he had ran anyway.

"I won't, none of us will, I promise," Eret replied, gently pulling Tommy into a hug, "No one will hurt you again if we have anything to say about it."

"Th- Thank you," Tommy sobbed, the tears he had been holding in finally seeping out.

"Always," Eret promised, letting Tommy bury his face into her shoulder and hide his tears. When he had pulled himself together he apologised again, and again Eret told him that he had nothing to apologise for. Then she grabbed two containers, passing one to Tommy, "I packed your lunch, it's just a sandwich, I hope you don't mind."

"Thank you," Tommy whispered, holding the container close. He didn't remember the last time someone had actually packed him lunch. Either they had given him money to buy lunch or they hadn't bothered at all.

Eret gave him a soft smile, then lead him outside and across the street, where they picked up Ranboo.

"Are you ok, Tommy?" Ranboo asked as soon as he saw them, and Tommy just shrugged. No he wasn't ok, but he couldn't just say that. Plus he was pretty sure Eret had told Ranboo about what happened when the 2 had talked last night.

They walked to school, Eret and Ranboo talking every now and then, but mostly the two just watched Tommy, as though checking he wasn't about to break into a million pieces. Honestly, Tommy thought it was a fair worry, he didn't feel too far off that.

When they arrived, everyone was there waiting for them, even Techno and Wilbur who usually only just made it on time.

"We need a plan, there's a chance someone could show up looking for Tommy, and we can't let that happen," Eret started once the group had stopped talking, which had happened almost as soon as they had arrived.

"I'll go with him between classes for Physics, Maths and English, those ones we have the same," Ranboo said, and Conner added that he'd go with Tommy for both the chemistry lessons.

"What's your first class?" Ranboo asked when no one offered to walk him there.

"History, no one's in my class for that," Tommy replied, his voice barely audible, fear still clouding his mind.

"Phil will look after you for that, we will walk you there," Eret decided. Tommy wanted to ask who, but he also couldn't ask.

"We'll make sure you're never alone or in danger today, Tommy, I promise you that."

Words: 1500

A/N: I was today years old when I discovered that the phrase "left on read" was not in fact "left unread"... this has broken my mind and I don't know what to think any more...