Typical Hockey Player..Or Is He? - Connor Bedard (PART 1)

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Why are all my multiple part ones always Connor Bedard? Like I unintentionally did that-

TW: SH, blood, drug use, and alcohol use

Connor and I have known each other since we were kids. I've been with him through his hockey journey, from his broken wrist to now. The airport. 

We haven't been seperated..well..ever. Ever since he protected me from the school bullies in the third grade even though he didn't know me, we've been attached by the hip. He's come to all my horse shows that he could and I've gone to all of his games I was in town for. 

Back to now. Me and Connor are hugging before he needs to go through customs for Chicago. We started dating 4 months ago not knowing he would end up so far away. It's hard to let go of him without knowing when I'll see him next.

"You know I'll see you soon, right?" He asked me. I couldn't find the words to answer so I just nodded. "Look at me." He whispered. I brought my head out of his chest and looked up at him. "I know we haven't been together for that long, but I love you."

I gave him a look of doubt. "You love me? How?" To sum up the doubt: my dad left me before I was born, claiming that I would only mess up his career. My mom never loved me but instead hated me for my dad running away. I basically grew up with the Bedard family.

"Of course I love you. You're perfect in every way shape and form." Connor smiled at me. "Until next time?" He asked.

"Until next time." I smiled sadly as he walked away. 

*3 months later*

Fuck him. 

Of course I couldn't trust him. He's an NHL hockey player for fuck sake. Of course he cheated. My friend sent me a picture of Connor laughing with some blonde at a bar in Edmonton. I haven't left my room in a week after seeing that picture. 

How could I have been so naïve? Thinking he wouldn't eventually get tired and bored of me? Maybe my mom was right. I am just some stupid bitch who drives people away. I grabbed my knife from the bedside table and put it on my wrist, gliding it across slowly as blood oozed out.

After a few more, I wrapped it in a towel and grabbed some bandages. After wrapping it up, I got some of my coke from the back closet and layed a line out of the table. I put my nose down and snorted it all.

Fuck him. Line. He doesn't care about you. Line. No one could ever love you. Line. 

Eventually, I couldn't tell my surroundings. I just went until I fell asleep.

Connor's POV

Me and a few of the guys went out to a bar in Edmonton after our win against the Oilers. I decided to go because I can't go with them after home games since I'm not legal in America and because Mia won't answer.

A blonde girl came over to us, obviously drunk, and sat in my lap. I gave the guys wide eyes and tried to get her to move while fake laughing at something she said. She eventually moved and gave me a dirty look since I wouldn't cheat on my girlfriend for her. She walked off to Seth at the bar.

I looked down at my phone and saw a text from Mia saying she was breaking up with me because I was cheating on her with some blonde.

Now I'm not one to drink really, maybe one or two, but tonight I felt like getting drunk. I walked over to the bar and asked the bartender for whatever their strongest drink is. I grabbed the drink and sipped it, feeling it burn down my throat.

One..two..three..maybe eight drinks later? I don't know I lost count. I was being dragged back up to mine and Corey's hotel room. Corey and Seth were both confused on what happened to get me to think that drinking was the answer. I must say I was on cloud 9 after that.

If Mia wants me to be some typical hockey player I can be that. New chick every week? That's what she thinks I am and maybe that's what I'm made to do. Maybe I'm not the nice, respectful boyfriend I always thought I was. Maybe I'm some hotshot rookie hockey player that won't settle down.

If that's what she wants me to be, then that's what I'll be. As much as  I hate the thought of it, the thought of betraying everything I've fought against for years, that's what I am meant to be.

*One month later*

I can't. I just can't.

I'm back in Chicago but I can't do this anymore. The media is crazy, I'm playing worse than I ever have in my life, girls are throwing themselves at me, but worst of all, Mia's words still ring in my head every day.

You're just like the rest of them. You're a cheating bitch. I fucking hate you. I never loved you truly.

So here I now am, sitting on a cliff edge with my head in my hands. This spot is the only place I can escape reality. No service. No media. No nothing. Just me and my thoughts. 

I always think if maybe Mia was right. If I should just give up and let myself be like the others. But no matter how much I think about it, I won't let myself. I haven't been with anyone since her. I've been trying to get my mind straight and my game back on track.

I looked up and saw the sun starting to rise. It was beautiful. All the colours mixed together perfectly. I smiled and took a picture. When I got home 3 hours later, I posted the picture and left for morning practice.

_connorbedard✔️Caption: morning sunrises >>Liked by nhlblackhawks, mscott12, and 63k others

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_connorbedard✔️
Caption:
morning sunrises >>
Liked by nhlblackhawks, mscott12, and 63k others

Comments:

@nhlblackhawks✔️: Connor the photographer?

@user78250: anyone else notice Mia liked?

and 48 others

I'm to lazy to write anymore so imagine the rest

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DUN DUN DUNNNNN

WC: 1026

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