Falling for red

{4} Date night

It was now the weekend and I had decided doing mundane human things was too boring for me so I rang up Eli telling him to meet me at target in half an hour.

When we arrived he insisted that I had to push him in the trolley because 'equal rights, equal fights'. He's just mad that he always used to push me in the trolley.

"Eli what do you weigh?" I groaned whilst trying to steer the trolley in the paint direction.

"70 Kg."

"Huh, how is that even possible?"

"What do you expect I'm a growing 6'1 boy." I made a noise of agreement.

"What are we even here for?"

"Spray paint and lots of it," I said whilst grabbing multiple cans of different coloured paint.

"Your not doing what I think your doing right?"

"I don't know, it depends if what you think I'm doing is actually what I'm thinking of doing. Because what you think I'm doing and what I'm actually thinking of doing could possibly be two different things." He just looked at me flatly in response.

"Okay maybe it is what you think it is. But your going to help me because I'm your bestest friend in the whole wide world that you hadn't seen in almost three years."

"After this I don't mind if I don't see you for another three years." I swatted his arm at that comment. Cheeky cunt!

"Fine! Fine just stop hitting me woman but if we get caught it's your fault. Who's paying cause I don't have any money?"

"I don't have any money either."

We just stayed in silence thinking of a solution before Eli burst out, loudly may I add causing a few glances from other customers, "I just got up and I'm already going to be an accomplice to two crimes. Might as well take me to jail and throw away the key. Do you know what they do to pretty boys in jail like me. I'll give three guesses it rhymes with cape and it's NOT fun."

"Hey who knows once you ride the wave a couple times you may like it." To say he looked horrified was an understatement.

"Okay we need to make a distraction."

"Are we ignore the fact that I could be going to jail?"

"Well if you help me find a distraction you won't have to go to jail."

All of a sudden he pulled out a flash bomb and a lighter from his hoodie pocket. I looked at him curiously although I shouldn't be surprised by now. "In case of emergencies," he explained.

"You stay here while I set off the bomb."

"Yes ma'am," he saluted

"HELP THERE'S A BOMB!" I shrieked in a shrilly voice before setting of the flash bomb, running back to Eli and sprinting out the store while pushing the trolley and his fat arse because he was too lazy to get out of it.

Once we were in the clear I slowed my running down to an amble until we reached my house and brought the paint inside.

"Honey why is there a trolley in our front garden," Mum asked hours later from when we returned. We kept the trolley because we couldn't be arsed to return it and you never know when a trolley can come in handy. What if I need to steal something again?

"Somebody may have stole it."

"And who's that somebody?" My mum asked as the sound of heels clicking grew louder as she turned around the corner dressed up all fancy with her hair done.