Falling for red

{48} Drugs

"We don't have to talk about it today Cart," I insisted.

"I want to. If that's okay with you."

"Of course it's okay with me. I just don't want you to feel like you have to tell me."

"I'm warning you now you might think differently of me but I want to tell you before anything else happens between us," he said the last part of his sentence so quickly I couldn't make out what he said.

I had always assumed he just went in for something like arson. I never thought there would be a big song and dance about it.

"I would never think any different about you, you should know that," I said bringing him into a side hug. I think my words brought some relief to him as he nodded to himself in confirmation and started speaking.

"Err I don't actually know where to start," he nervously chuckled wiping his palms on his jeans.

"How long were you in there for?" I asked hoping it would get him going.

"12 months. Well actually I got 16 months but I got released early on good behaviour."

"Aww you were a good boy," I quipped, squeezing one of his cheeks, wanting to ease his nerves. He pushed my hand away rubbing his, now red, cheek with his own.

"I'll tell you some back story first. Liv's husband, Al's dad, was never around that much. His name was Jacob. We didn't know much about him except he had a few screws loose. To say he was her husband he wasn't around much. He was always out.

He had bipolar but when he was around you couldn't really tell. He was just your standard dad. But then we found out what he did when he was out. He was a fucking rapist. Whenever he'd get angry or manic he'd leave and now we know what he was doing.

He only got 4 years and he was back out. Then he came for Liv. And Liv was nothing but kind to his ass.

I was ill so I stayed at home but the rest of the boys had gone out. I heard a big commotion so I went to go check what it was.

He had her cornered and was rambling some crazy shit. I didn't pay much attention to what he was saying, I was more concerned about getting him away from her.

This wasn't just a normal argument you could tell something was different about him. Turns out he was on drugs, heavy drugs. Cocaine and Ecstasy. On top of that he was having a manic episode." He played with the rips on my jeans to calm himself down. I could tell how worked up was getting and he hadn't even gotten to the main part.

"The bastard had a knife on him. And he fucking stabbed her before I could get to her. When I went to go check on her he started coming after me. I watched as she started to bleed out but couldn't do anything.

Then I got angry. The angriest I've ever been. I was like a man possessed. Everything blurred together from that moment.

But I know we got into a fight, the knife long forgotten. I had the upper hand because of how angry I was and him being jittery didn't help his case. Next thing I know I'm being dragged out and chucked into a police car.

Liv didn't even make it to the hospital. She had lost too much blood. It was too late. She died and I-I watched her get ki-killed." He choked on a sob and I felt my heart break at the expression on his face. He looked so miserable and I didn't know how to help.

"Then I got told I had beaten Jacob so hard he...died. That night was the worst day of my life. That was the night I got arrested for homicide.

The worst part is I don't regret it. Yeah from time to time I feel guilty but then I think of all the things he'd done; what he'd done to Liv." I let him get it all out without saying anything knowing I'd start going off on a tangent.