Finding Elliott [Harry Styles] Completed

Eighteen.

I realised that at some point I was going to have to get some kind of money together, I could not expect Will to just help me out for the rest of my life, or at least the rest of the time I was staying at his home. This morning I found myself entering the graveyard where I was supposedly buried. 

There must have been a body in the coffin below the earth and it was probably the girl they brought in to the house to take my place shortly before I was sold to Liam. I wondered what horrible deed the girl did to end up there, maybe she didn't do anything, maybe it was just bad luck that she looked like me. 

I stood in front of the headstone, not on the earth in front as I looked at the beautifully kept graveside. My father obviously wanted it kept nice, there were fresh flowers placed on the top and a small card sticking out of them, I smiled as I thought of my father coming down here, knowing he still thought of me. 

Reaching forward I picked up the card on the flowers, I raised my eyebrows as I read the card. It wasn't my father as I had assumed, instead it was nameless. The words were not of any importance, just the usual mumbo-jumbo that you might find written in a card to a dead person. I sighed as I returned it back to the bunch of flowers, tulips I believe. 

"I'm very sorry you ended up here," I spoke to the gravestone. I hoped that if there was something that the girl could hear me. I never wanted anyone to die for me, I never wanted anything like this. "This world is cruel, believe me, I know."

I sat on the grass and took my hood down from my hair and sighed as I looked down at my hands. "Everything is a mess, not that you want to hear my problems, you don't even know me." I closed my eyes, "I'm really don't know how we ended up here. I wish that things were different for both of us." Placing my hands on the grass, my palms flat I felt the cold, wet grass below my fingertips. "You must have been so scared. I promise I'm not going to let them get away with it."

Using my hands to push off the ground I got to my feet and brushed down my behind before I walked forward and touched the headstone, I couldn't just leave it. I knew I was here and in the earth wasn't me. There was no way I was letting any of it go.

Arriving at Harry's mum's house I pressed the buzzer and waited for an answer. "Yep?" I heard the chirpy voice of Shannon. "If you've forgotten your keys again, mum, I won't be happy."

I laughed as I thought of Shannon being angry, "Well, I'm not your mum."

"Elliott? I'm buzzing you in." She told me before I heard the buzzing sound of the door. 

Grabbing the door handle I walked through the main door and up the stairs where Shannon was waiting for me with a smile, "Hey," I said to her with a grin. "I take it no one is home?"

She shook her head as she led me into the house, my hand pushing the door closed as we went into the living room which had not changed at all. "What are you doing here?" She asked me as she sat on the sofa allowing the cushions to consume her as she did. 

"I have no idea," I admitted. "I guess I just needed to talk to someone who, I dunno, someone who believes I am me."

"Don't' forget you have been gone for three years," she told me as she leaned forward as I took a seat at the other end of the sofa. She opened a drawer before she passed me a newspaper clipping. "And you're dead."

I laughed as I took the paper and read it, my eyes widened as I realised I was reading my own obituary. "Well, this is bleak isn't it?" I shook my head as I scanned over it before I handed it back to her. "You think your life means something but in all honesty, it's just a few nice words on a piece of paper in the end."

Shannon returned the paper to the drawer before she closed it and looked back at me. "So I take it you have seen my brother?"

I nodded slowly as I thought about how he didn't believe me. "It didn't go too well."

"You were gone for three years, Elliott." She reminded me of the horrible truth of my life or death depending on how you looked at it. "I know that he really was upset, he really just threw himself into work. Then he started to see someone else, I guess he just wanted someone in his life, someone he could share his time with."

I raised my eyebrows as I thought about who it was, seeing him and Jessica together was probably more heartbreaking than him not believing me, mainly because I knew she'd done it just because she could. 

"I haven't met her though," Shannon told me as she tucked her feet under herself. "Harry tells me he's happy though."

"That's good then," I tried to sound like I was happy for him but it was hard to be happy for him when I longed to be the one in his arms. 

She gave me a sad smile, "I would like to help you." She started to say before the smile left her lips, "But I can't. He's happy with Jess and that's all there is to it." She stood up and looked at me, I followed her lead and got to my feet too. "I think you should just leave it, go and let him be happy."

The worst thing about what she was telling me was that I knew he was living in my old house, he was living in my old house with my best friend and my father. Jessica Fitzwilliam was living the life I should have had, the life I wanted more than anything right now. 

I gave Shannon a little nod before I spoke, "Thank you for seeing me today." I walked away from her and let myself out of the flat and headed down the stairs. Leaving the building I returned to William's car that I had borrowed where I started the car up quickly. 

Doing a quick reverse I left the area, my hands shaking and my eyes tearing as I sped through the streets, the wheels screeching with every corner that I turned. Pressing on the radio button I made it silent in the car as I allowed myself to just think. 

Why was everything like this right now? I wanted to respect Shannon's words but I couldn't, I couldn't just leave it right now, could I? 

Slamming my brakes on in the middle of the road I heard beeps behind me as cars began to stop around me. I needed something, anything, I wanted to feel alive. 

My attention was drawn away from my thoughts when someone started banging on the window of my car, I turned my head to the window where I saw a man who looked pretty mad right now, I swear I could see smoke coming out of his ears. 

Reaching for the handle of the door I swung it open as I looked at him and got out of my car. 

"What the fuck do you think you are doing?!" He yelled at me angrily as he stared down at me. His greasy tash moved with every word he said.

I just stared up at him blankly as I shrugged my shoulders, "What I am doing is none of your business, take your shitty fucking car and drive around if you don't like it!"

His eyes bulged as he threw his hand to the side of my head, "Do you have some kind of death wish because you are going the right way for a punch in the face, lass!"

"Fucking try it!" I dared him as I stood my ground. 

For a big guy he was quick as his left hand connected with my right cheek, the pain crazy as it did. I narrowed my eyes at him as I threw a punch at his face, my little fist getting him on the nose as I gritted my teeth at him. "Don't fucking touch me again!" I hissed as I pushed him back, he stumbled, surprise on his face probably when he realised strong I actually was. 

Turning away from him I got back into the car and drove off before he had a chance to even question me. Flipping down the mirror as I drove I could see my right side of my face was red and there was a little swelling already happening in my cheek. 

I felt the pain but I didn't really feel much else. I didn't feel alive like I hoped I would. Instead, I felt more dead inside than ever. 

Right now I had nothing to lose...