The Wings We Share (Complete)[OLD] | Levi x OC | AoT Fanfiction

Bonus Chapter: Himself at Night

Knock. Knock knock.

"Levi?"

"Valeri. Come in."

It was a few nights right after Historia's coronation. We were beginning preparations for the wall reclaimation mission and were expecting hard work starting as early as tomorrow morning.

"It's late, Levi, you should sleep."

He was reading a book in his chair again. I had learned he never changed out of his clothes when he slept, in case of an emergency, and rarely slept in his bed, rather his chair. He tried to keep himself up by pinching himself and reading books. I don't know yet why he's so scared of sleeping.

"I told you, no." He answered, still reading his novel.

"Why not? For the past few nights I've slept in here I've noticed you try to keep yourself from sleeping. You get nightmares, don't you? That shouldn't stop you."

He looked up from his book, surprised. "How do you know?" He asked.

"We're not that different Levi. You came here with friends, Isabel and Farlan, from the underground, who died on your first expedition. I heard you saw them die yourself. That's what I heard from Hange, anyway. Also Mike, before he died."

"I was going to ask you how you knew that- but of course Hange told you. I'm surprised Mike did though. Anyway- you still haven't answered my question."

"I just assumed you got nightmares. I do too. Every single night, I wake up in a cold sweat either from dreams of seeing Petra, Oluo, Gunther and Eld die all over again, or the comrades I never cared for that I graduated with, whom I saw died. At this point I'm used to it, but since I need the sleep I just force myself to bear it." I told him, sitting across from him on the bed.

"Huh. It's just that we're wired different. You're not as emotional. In fact, I'm pretty sure my biggest mistake was getting this close to you. Everyone I've ever loved died. I'm afraid you will too. I see nightmares of you dying as well, me being unable to save you." He admitted, his face turning pale.

"I've had nightmares like that too, except about you.. but I know you're strong enough that you won't be dying anytime soon. I won't either."

He nodded. "Hah.. how nice. Do you want to cuddle?"

"Sure." I nodded, lying down and patting a spot next to me for him to lay on, which he followed.

After a few minutes of cuddling, I finally spoke.

"Can you tell me about Isabel and Farlan?"

"...."

"You don't have to if you don't want to."

"Isabel was such a child, clumsy, and a horrible singing voice. She was so immature, yet I still loved her like a sister. I can still hear her call me "big bro," sometimes. That's really why I hate all brats that act so childish and immature. They remind me of Isabel."

I nodded, stroking his hair. "And Farlan?"

"Farlan was a proud guy, always overestimated himself, and tried not to appear weak. Yet he was compassionate on the inside. He was a good and supportive friend." He muttered.

"In fact- well, this is embarrassing, but... I don't like being around Eren, Mikasa, and Armin, because they remind me of Isabel, Farlan, and myself. It's just- hard. I'm not sure how I'm still alive. I'm not sure what my purpose is, and I don't know how I can live on."

He sounded like as if he were about to cry. I had never seen Levi in such a state before... So vulnerable.. and sad. Has he ever had anyone to talk to at all? No... He couldn't even get close with anyone because if he lost them, he would only be hurt more. Poor Levi...

"Levi, how about this. When we finally work things out with our enemies, who deem us as devils who want to slaughter us all. When we reclaim Wall Maria, and we're finally no longer seen as devils... When our long and hard services to the military are finally done... Let's go leave and live a peaceful life, open a tea shop, start a family, maybe. That's something to live for. Finally, a good ending to look forward to. With me." I suggested.

"Well... I've always considered a tea shop, but that's it. Well then... That sounds good. But you better not die on me, please. I beg of you-" He grabbed my shoulders, looking at me with pained and desperate eyes.

"I can't lose anyone else."

I smiled at him, holding his hands with mine. "Neither can I, I swear on you. I won't die."

The cuddles went to kissing, the kissing soon lead to our clothes on the ground, the bed creaking, as we connected, the feeling of each other's flesh, as for a brief moment, we forgot our problems from pleasure, making forbidden love.

So this was Levi, himself at night.