Love Finds a Way !!!

Chapter 73

Tanish reached his room and closed the door shut. He closed his eyes as he stood leaning against the frame. He couldn't believe how he had let go of his control. He raked his hands through his hair and dragged them down his face in disappointment. He was disappointed in himself. He had always valued his control. He had perfected his mask with years of practice. Kept his emotions tightly bound. His aim had always been to be better than Aarav. There had been times when the pull to use any manner to beat him at his game had been strong but he had never given in. He had resisted the urge every single time, gaining more knowledge, acquiring more skills, doing better than the last. Every time. Then how come he hadn't been able to battle today. Why had he let his weakness show? Worse, he had hurt his mother. And he muttered a curse. She was such a gentle soul. The biggest positive in his life. And he respected and loved her so much. She did too. He knew that somewhere. Despite all his insecurities he had known she had never had a favorable attitude. How had it come to this? How had he landed in this place? How was he even supposed to deal with it? He had ignored his emotions for so long, kept them hidden inside that he didn't even realize when they had spread their roots and made his ambition an obsession.

He walked inside slowly and went to the window looking outside at the darkness. Daylight had faded and had left only blackness in its wake. The few lights that illuminated their garden glowed like little orbs casting a play of shadow and light. He watched his faint reflection in the dual paned windows. Eyes full of turmoil and a very strange emotion stared back at him. His face seemed distorted in the reflection. And he couldn't recognize himself. He didn't know what to make of himself anymore. 'You owe me and my friend a few actually'. Pratiksha's words echoed in his head. 'Apology'. The word came back to haunt him. He closed his eyes and found her face flood his conscience. Why? Why did he think of her at the most inopportune moments? Why couldn't her face and voice leave him in peace? He didn't need her. He didn't want her. Then why? She didn't deserve his rudeness. She had never done anything to harm him except...except compare him to Aarav. That was probably her only crime and he had taken her words as an insult. A very personal insult. Even though she intrigued him, made him smile with her wit, made him want to seek her out for nothing else but the sheer pleasure of having a battle of words with her. She was a sharp girl nothing like so many he had met otherwise. And was she loyal. Kanak was her friend. A good friend she had insisted. She took her friendship seriously which alone reflected her character. He opened his eyes and her image faltered and then left him alone. He was back to seeing himself.

Tanish took in a deep breath and with an effort turned around. He went to sit on his bed. But as his restlessness grew he got up and walked around like a caged lion. He paused before his father's portrait and stared at it for a while. It had been difficult to understand why his father couldn't come home. Why suddenly everybody cried at the mention of his name? Why was Aarav left in his mother's care? He had been very young. And the boys at his school had been the cruelest. Passing jibes and comments. He had been involved in more than one scuffle when he had been young. And then he had been asked to look up to Aarav, learn from him and how well he behaved. It hadn't been easy to grow up within his family structure. The hierarchy choked him. Her mother was the youngest daughter-in-law of the house and he was the youngest grandson. And he had always assumed they had been sidelined because of it. The pressure had been tremendous growing up. And most often than not he had found himself alone. With his mom busy with handling household affairs and catering to the needs of the other members of the family he had often felt neglected. Strangely, he realized as he thought back he had felt neglected when that wasn't really the case. His mother had always been honest to him about things, about emotions, about situations. Why she was at home? Why she wasn't like Rohini aunty or Shilpa aunty? He had always been thankful she wasn't like Shilpa aunty yet he had felt left out. And it had angered him. He had relished the emotion. At times letting it control him completely. Then he had learnt he could use it in other ways. Unknowingly, he had absorbed a lot of Aarav's personality traits. Sharpened them more. Everyone thought Aarav was arrogant, Tanish smiled coldly, he was worst. His brother was a genius. No doubt there. The way he understood business no one did. Not even him. And he envied Aarav over it. The way Aarav came up with solutions whether by hook or crook always gave him cause to admire him, though grudgingly. And he had wanted to become better. The best actually. But exactly when had that envy turned into jealousy and became an add on to his existing insecurities he had no idea. He had never stopped to ponder over these things before. All he had started wanting was for Aarav to fail at something. Anything. And all his energy had been diverted towards that. Had the project been genuine he would have showed the world of his prowess unfortunately...and Aarav had to rescue him. Again. He had done it a few times before too. And every single time it had rubbed him the wrong way. So really not his fault that he had burst out today.

Tanish took in a deep breath. What was he going to do now? He knew what the right thing to do would be. Give his older brother an apology. Of course, one he owed to his mother as well. But he would be damned if he went and did that. By law, Tanish Singhania never apologized. In that he was very much like Aarav. He put two fingers to his brows and massaged the space between. How was Aarav faring with his mother's sudden bringing up the past? He knew from experience Aarav never did well. Maybe that was why his mother had stayed back to comfort him. Her favorite son as she fondly called him. Tanish smiled wryly. There was no distaste this time. He recalled what his mother had just said. She loved Tanish a lot but it didn't mean she loved Aarav any less. He could cry over it. Tanish shook his head.

"What am I supposed to do dad?" he asked loudly looking at the portrait before him as if that would get him any answers. He was bad at emotions. His friends called him emotionally challenged most times.

He was glad in a way that some things came out in the open. He felt a bit light. But then his mother and Aarav both knew now about how he operated. His mother might not be affected with the knowledge but Aarav just might try and use it against him. Tanish sighed as he raked another hand through his hair. He should probably first apologize to his mother for hurting her. Then maybe he will think about others. There seemed to be a long queue.

What Tanish didn't know was that soon an opportunity would be given to him. The question was would he use it or would he waste it.

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