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Y/N POV

"Yeah, I have him." said Hyunjin and his voice brought me back to reality. Why was I thinking of Chan? It's not the right time, not now. I turned and was about to leave, when one more thought crossed my mind.

"You have any more cigarettes?" I asked and turned back to them.

"Yeah, in my car." said Gyeon with a shaking voice.

I went to his car and quickly found a pack of cigarettes in the glove box. I took another cigarette and lit it.

"I didn't know you were a smoker." said Hyunjin with a raised eyebrow.

"I used to be." I said and enjoyed this cigarette like no other in my life.

"What made you start again?" asked Hyunjin with a little laugh in his voice.

"The realization, that I fucking fell in love." I said without thinking and Hyunjin just burst in laughter.

"That's it? Falling in love?" he asked still laughing.

"It scares me, okay? I've never been like this. Like never in my life. It's different. It's fucking nerve-wrecking." I said and inhaled another dose of nicotine.

"What's so different about this one?" Hyunjin asked and was truly curious about my answer.

"I don't know. I don't know, why he's so different." I started and thought about it for a moment.

"Saying that I would die for him or live for him is a not sufficient. I would breathe for him. I would beat instead of his heart. I would run the blood in his veins. Fuck, I would even kill for him. And killing is the thing, that I despise, hate the most." I said staring at the ground.

"Because of him I'm different. Worse? Colder? Braver? I don't know. And I don't even mind. It does scare me a bit but it excites me at the same time. Fuck, I'm mad. I've officially gone crazy." I said and squatted to relax a bit and take a breath again.

"Nah girl, you're just in love." said Hyunjin with laugh and finished tying up Gyeon. Was he tying him up all this time, that I was talking?

"Then, no thank you. I don't want it. I tried the free trial and I'm not intrested. Can I cancel my membership now?" I asked and looked at Hyunjin, that was slowly walking towards me.

"Nah ah, it's too late now. You're in this for life." said smiling Hyunjin and pushed me lightly with his leg, but the push was strong enough for me to lose my stability and fall on the ground.

"Sucks." I exhaled and Hyunjin just looked at me as if I were a small child throwing a tantrum over some meaningless thing.

"Get up. They will be here soon." said Hyunjin and reached his hand to me to help me get up.

"Who?" I asked little bit confused.

"Who do you think? Our people. They will take care of this guy until Chan decides, what should happen to him." Hyunjin said and I nodded.

"But they take their sweet time for sure." I said, leaned on our car and put my hands in my pockets.

"Yeah, they do for sure." said Hyunjin and watched out for Gyeon, that was now tied up on the ground. I don't think he will try to escape or do anything, but you can be never careful enough.

I used the fact that Hyunjin was watching over Gyeon and closed my eyes to relax a bit. My mind automatically went to Chan as to the haven that he was for me. As the thing that brings the most comfort to me.

I didn't resist it. I gave in. In the end, there was no reason to not to. There was no reason to continue pretending.

Pretending like I don't love him. Pretending, like I never noticed these feelings.

I love him.

And if being bad means being by his side, then I will be bad.

I will be the baddest of them all.

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