Trust Once Broken | SGA John Sheppard

0.107.0

Hello friends! I'm sorry it's been so long since I updated. As some of you know in my real life I am a horse trainer and I ended up qualifying for nationals. So things were a little crazy as I prepared for the trip both mentally and physically. I spent a week competing there but am now home and back to writing. I hope you enjoy the update. 

Happy Reading!

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John didn't sleep that night, although it was one of the most restful nights he had ever had. Whatever the Wraith had done to him left him wide awake, but it was the most peaceful he could ever remember feeling. He spent the whole night holding Kai as she slept. She was sprawled across his chest, her cheek resting above his heart. He let his hands glide through her hair, toying with the silky strands. His other hand rested on her back, holding her against him.

He was filled with a sense of peace that he wasn't sure was one hundred percent certain the feeling was completely his. At one point last night, when things had been so intense between them, he had found himself reveling in the Bond and accepting the intimacy it gave them. Since that moment it felt like the Bond was somehow even more open than he had ever felt it, more permanent somehow.

Through the Bond he felt Kai wake before her body even moved. Kai cuddled into him for a second and John pulled her closer, rubbing his hand along her spine.

Kai's storm grey eyes fluttered open and she looked up at him with a gentle smile. Through that wide open Bond he knew she was content. He hadn't realized how much he had worried she would regret what happened between them. He cared about her too much to lose her now that he had her.

"Morning," she said, with a lazy smile. It was early, just before dawn. She was sprawled across John's bare chest, her cheek resting over his heart. The steady rhythm was almost loud beneath her ear, but it was so soothing it drowned out the rest of the world.

John grinned down at her, enjoying the satisfied look in her eyes. "Morning," he responded.

Kai had never felt so warm and safe like this before. She frowned as she realized the warmth wasn't just coming off of his skin, but it felt like it was inside. She realized then, that the bond had grown and strengthened. The warmth and calm satisfaction radiated off of him. It surprised her.

John cocked his head to the side as he felt her surprise. "That's you, right?" he asked.

Kai nodded, pressing her lips together thoughtfully. "I'm not sure-" she started to say but she felt a sliver of worry from John she hadn't expected. "No," she said, quickly pushing off his chest to sit up. The sheets pooled around her waist but she didn't feel self conscious in front of him.

John blinked and sat up higher on his pillows. "Did you just read my mind?" he asked.

"No," Kai said quickly. "I just felt you worry when I started to say I wasn't sure. But I am sure about this," she promised him quickly. "I just...before, the Bond felt more fluid. Like I could open or close it, now..." she dragged off as she tried to concentrate on the feeling inside her chest. "I don't think I can shut you out anymore."

John arched a brow. "Is that a bad thing?" he asked cautiously. It didn't sound so bad to him, but he knew how important control was for Kai. If she felt like she couldn't control it, she was likely to run, to try and put distance between them while she figured out how to handle it. He was done letting her run. She would have to deal with him.

Kai cocked her head to the side as she tried to figure out what the sudden flare of determination meant.

"Kai?" John pressed.