Trust Once Broken | SGA John Sheppard

0.15.0

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Kai stood at attention in the hall outside of the conference room. She was surprised to find she was nervous. Inside Weir, Bates, McKay, Teyla and Sheppard were discussing her situation and her potential future. In all her years facing the Mortii Tribunal to be disciplined had never had her this tied up in knots.

That morning Bates had come and found her, notifying her of a 'status evaluation meeting'. She and Bates had never been friends but they had respected one another. That morning he had been colder than usual. She was sure he felt betrayed and knowing Bates he was probably mad her actions would give Major Sheppard the opportunity to say 'I told you so' to the security chief who had stuck his neck out for her. His actions had been far from altruistic, but he had given her a chance.

The door slid open and Major Sheppard of all people stepped out into the hall. "The firing squad is ready for you," he told her sardonically.

Kai stiffened.

"Kidding," John assured her. "Sort of." He glanced over his shoulder to see if anyone was watching him, then stepped out into the hall near her. "Look, just be honest. Elizabeth is fair." John didn't have any idea why he bothered trying to make her feel better. She was the one who had lied to them. He cleared his throat and straightened. "She'll give you a chance to tell your side of the story and then make a decision from there."

Kai nodded briskly. John held out his hand encouraging her to step towards the door. She hesitated right at the threshold. She drew in a deep breath to ground herself and she stepped into the room.

Sheppard stepped in behind Kai, closing the door, and moved around to the head of the table to sit beside Weir.

Kai stood on the opposite side of the table from everyone. There was a chair, but she felt better being on her feet. She clasped her hands behind her back and lifted her chin, waiting for the interrogation to start.

This was her fault, she was under no illusions about that. Part of her felt like she should have run when she had the chance. The truth was she wanted to stay. She had been living a lie, but it was one she had grown to truly enjoy and she wasn't ready to give up on. Even if she had to face what felt like the disciplinary tribunal back home. This was far more unsettling for her however, now she actually had something to lose.

Weir had a file open in front of her and Bates was prepared to take notes on his computer. "Do you have anything you would like to say before we begin?" Elizabeth asked authoritatively.

"Yes ma'am," Kai said stepping up to the table. "I would like to apologize to each and every one of you for the deceit. I wish I could say it wasn't necessary, but my people are taught from birth to conceal what they are. It's how we survive. I'm truly sorry for those of you who feel as though I have betrayed your trust. I promise you, I will answer all of your questions with absolute honesty." Kai was uncomfortable discussing her feelings but she recognized this meeting for what it was, her only shot to stay on Atlantis. "For the first time I feel like my work is making a difference. I hope I have not irreparably damaged my chances of staying here on Atlantis and continuing to work with Doctor Zelenka."

Bates scoffed. "You think after what you did-"

Major Sheppard cleared his throat loudly and lifted his brows at the security chief. Bates quieted immediately and began typing.

"Thank you for your words," Weir said, she looked visibly shaken. Whatever she had expected Kai to say that wasn't it. "Please state your name for the record."

Kai tilted her head in an odd alien way. "I don't have one," she replied as though it didn't bother her at all.

John shifted his weight in his seat.