Trust Once Broken | SGA John Sheppard

0.122.0

><><

Pain pounded in Kai's temples as she left John...no, Colonel Sheppard, in the jumper bay. She pinched the bridge of her nose, trying to staunch the flow of blood as she made her way toward her quarters. Her headache today was so much worse than the ones she had experienced on and off the day before.

She would get cleaned up and then head to the lab and start searching the database for any information about what might be happening. She needed to get to the bottom of whatever was causing her headaches and the visions so many seemed to be experiencing. She had slipped by Ronon and John once, but she knew she wouldn't be so lucky if they saw the headaches effecting her again. If she so much as winced around either of them, they would drag her kicking and screaming back to Beckett for a whole barrage of tests. She couldn't help solve the problem if she was confined to the infirmary and hooked up to machines.

Back in her quarters, Kai scrubbed the blood off over her sink and splashed water on her face. She still had a headache and her eyes were bloodshot, but at least there was no longer any blood on her face. She looped her scarf back around her hair and scooped up her tablet, ready to head down to the lab. She hesitated in her room for a second, staring down at the tablet in her hand. There was no one here to judge her, and only Zelenka would know if he went back and checked her logs, which she knew wasn't a likely possibility. Zelenka respected her privacy even though he was supposed to be monitoring her work closely as she was alien.

It felt like weakness, after all she had been the one to ask him for space. No, she had demanded it. Threatening to leave if he didn't agree. She knew John well enough to know he wouldn't risk her going out on her own. He was too protective to push her and she had exploited it. A brief wave of guilt threatened to rise, but she pushed it back down. She couldn't trust that he wouldn't leave again if the military asked him. She didn't blame him for that, he was The Colonel and she had gone into a relationship with her eyes open about who he was, she even loved him for it, but she couldn't allow herself to be vulnerable to him again.

Keeping her distance from John Sheppard was turning out to be one of the more difficult things she had ever attempted. Even now she could feeling the thrumming tension of the Bond at the edges of her subconscious. It was difficult to resist the draw when she was already fighting the pain in her head. All she would have to do to feel him would be to just stop fighting it for a single moment.

Breathing out a frustrated sigh at her own weakness, she activated the program that monitored the Jumper John and McKay had taken into the depths. She set up notifications in the event anything went wrong with their jumper. Satisfied by the current system's status she was able to set aside her worry and focus on her work.

><><

As John flew the jumper away from the city he couldn't shake the restless feeling in his chest. He hated leaving Kai when he not only knew, but could feel she was in pain. Whatever had been going on over the last 24 hours on Atlantis, it was getting worse, but she was wouldn't talk to him and for sure wouldn't let him help her.

"Are you going to be crabby the whole trip? Or just part of it?" McKay asked after a few long moments of tense silence.

John's head jerked towards his friend, a deep scowl lining his face. "I'm not crabby," he snapped petulantly.

McKay lifted his brows in disbelief. "Riggghhhttt..." McKay dragged out the word, turning back to his laptop.

"I'm not!" John demanded.