Always His { Completed }

17🌸.

Song- Make me by Noah Cyrus and labrinth

I never needed you like I do right now
I never needed you like I do right now
I never hated you like I do right now
'Cause all you ever do is make me...

Emma's POV

Logan left work and came home to pick me up so that we could go to the hospital together. I insisted that I could drive in my car and meet him here but he refused. On a normal day, this would be a sweet gesture but nothing was normal about today.

The walls of doctor Anderson's office were white . So white that when Logan and I walked in, I was scared to touch the walls for fear of staining them.

They say the walls of hospitals are painted white or blue for a reason. White means serenity, peace , tranquility. The walls are white so that they would give off a calming effect making  the patients or their family around feel at peace and undisturbed. But even the colour of the hospital walls could not stop my fidgeting hands and my churning stomach. I was so tensed that the room felt so hot and there were beads of sweat on my forehead . I looked at Logan and although his face was expressionless, I could tell that he was even more anxious than I was. The difference between us was that he knew how to hide his anxiety really well.

I don't know how we managed not to speak to each other throughout the weekend but we did. He slept in his room and I slept in mine. It was hard, really hard. But I just couldn't be around him. I just couldn't. Not after what he said that night. I kept replaying what he said to me that morning and the night before.

I'm not ready to be a father again.

Like I was ready to be a mum. Like the fact that there's a chance that I might be pregnant won't ruin my plans of getting a real job and the career that I planned for myself. I was in no way ready to have a baby. I was scared of having a baby in fact. Funny how I love kids so much but I'm scared of having my own baby. What scares me more than having a baby is having an abortion. I don't know how most women do it but anytime I think of abortions I imagine the doctor using instruments to bring out the poor fetus and blood everywhere. I hate the sight of blood. Pretty much why I was never interested in being a doctor or nurse. So having an abortion is canceled for me. I will not do it.

I'm not particularly excited about being a mum but what is breaking my heart is the way Logan isn't even willing to try. The way he dismissed the idea of me being pregnant immediately. I felt like if I told him, he would make me feel better but he only made things worse. So much worse.

The door of the office opened and Dr Anderson walked in with a brown envelope in her hands .
" Hello, Mr Ross, Miss Durson. Sorry to keep you waiting. The lab scientists had to deal with a little problem." She greeted as she walked her seat behind the mahogany desk.

I sat up eagerly on the chair as I started to feel light headed. The results were here. The results that would determine if I was really pregnant or not. I meant what I said that morning to Logan. If me being pregnant makes him so unhappy then for his sake I hope I'm not.

Logan had an edgy look on his face. " It's fine, Stella."

" I have the results here with me. Would you like me to read it to you or do you want to see it privately?"

Logan and I looked at each other for a brief moment. I shrugged . I couldn't care less. Whether it was here in the doctors office or when we get home, I just wanted to know if I was pregnant or not.

" We'll like to see it privately." Logan responded .

" Alright then . You can have it." She handed the result to Logan .