Always His { Completed }

19🌸.

Song - Broken hearted girl by Beyoncé.

I don't wanna be without you, babe
I don't want a broken heart
Don't wanna take a breath without you, babe
I don't want to play that part
I know that I love you, but let me just say
I don't wanna love you in no kind of way, no, no...

Emma's POV

" I'm going back to work." Logan said coldly as he turned around and left. He actually left. After hurting me, he just left . Just like that. I used both of my hands to push my hair back. I couldn't believe this was happening. It's been blissful since I came back from Minnesota and now I'm pregnant, this happens. I just couldn't wrap my head around the fact that this was actually happening. If this was a dream, I wanted to wake up from it Asap.

I mean, I understood Logan perfectly. He lost not only a wife but a baby too. I could imagine how that must have felt for him and I'm truly sorry that he had to go through all of that but he cannot keep blaming himself and more importantly, he cannot make me suffer because of it. I don't understand why he doesn't want to get over the pain. Why he doesn't want to help himself. Does he enjoy soaking up the pain? Does he feel somehow fulfilled by it? Is this what Amy wanted? Did she lie when she told him to move on but somehow her spirit is here to prevent him from ever moving ?

I looked around the house and maybe I'm just being paranoid but it feels like she's still present in this house. It feels like her spirit is here just hovering around and why wouldn't she be? There's still a room filled with every damn thing she ever owned. Logan has never let go of her . He never did. I always had this feeling that I would always be second best to him but still , I stayed. I stayed because I love him and I believed that he would change over time. Maybe I was wrong.

I can't believe he actually insinuated that I might be trying to replace Amy. I would never try to take her place in Logan life or that of his kids. I acknowledge that she existed once and she has a special place in their hearts but now I feel so jealous and angry. I keep trying to tell myself that she's dead but she feels more alive every minute. It feels like Logan will never love me as much as he loves her and I feel like I can't do anything about it. Because it's there. It's in Logan . He's the one still holding on to her . It's him that needs to try to move on. He's in such an emotional mess because of his incessant nightmares and now he's apparently scared of babies too.

I was more than appalled when I he said he never wanted to have children with me. He said it straight to my face and with no apologies. He meant every word. I didn't know how to react. I was just shocked and really hurt. I felt like I was Tessa from the After series book by Anna Todd and he was my Harry. Stubborn, selfish and will powered. How can a man who claims he loves me not want any children with me? It's not just possible in my books.

I looked down at my stomach and touched it. I didn't know how many times I might have done that . I'm having a baby and the man I love doesn't want it. I didn't know how I was going to do this. Logan obviously doesn't want to be involved so I decided there and then that If it came to the worst, I would do this on my own. I would take care of this baby by myself even though I don't know the first thing about being a mum.

I thought of the job applications I had already sent out to different companies and the ones that were still in my email waiting to be sent. I thought of the plans I had, the plans to finally get the corporate job of my dreams. Shit. This event had ruined a lot of my plans but I would not be deterred. I guess I'll have to go back to my laptop and start sending out new mails to the companies.

I found my way to the bottom of the stairs and sat there with my forehead in my palms , trying to figure out my life. I needed to call my parents. My mum at least. My Dad would freak out and go haywire if he learned about the situation with Logan , I could bet on that one . I needed to talk to Maddie and Tess, I needed to call the show back, I needed too...