Always His { Completed }

23🌸.

Song- Million Reason's by Lady Gaga.

You're giving me a million reasons to let you go
You're giving me a million reasons to quit the show
You're givin' me a million reasons
Give me a million reasons
Givin' me a million reasons
About a million reasons...

~~

...Love is patient,love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking,it is not easily angered,it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres....

~~

Alex beat me to the other side of the pool and after that we just kept playing in the water. It still felt surreal that we were having fun, smiling together . Am I dreaming ? Because it still felt too good to be true . Deep down in my heart, I wish she had liked me a lot earlier . So many issues would have been solved but I'm happy it happened now. With all the pain and hurt I've been feeling , this event brought me so much  happiness that made me forget about the pain for a little while .

Jason and Avery joined us at the pool and we played with water guns. I imagined my life like this, just playing and having fun with these kids . I wouldn't have it any other way.

God, I love your kids so much Logan . Can't you see it?

Now that Alex didn't hate me anymore, I was hoping that this would at least convince Logan that we can make this work if he just tried to put away his fears. If he would just give it a shot at least.

Late in the evening when I was putting away the kids toys. I grabbed the last water gun and turned around to see Logan standing behind me.

" Jesus! Logan you scared me." I said with a startled voice. Of course this is his house and he knows the passcode to come in but he would have at least said something to let me know that he was back. The lights in the room were dim but I could make out the dreadful expression he had on his face. His eyes were bloodshot and he looked like he was about to cry but he had no expression in his face.

" I'm sorry." He simply said.

" Um okay. How's Mae ? Is she okay now?"

He took a few seconds before he opened his mouth to speak but no sound came out. He shook his head and ran his hands through his hair. It looked like he was really fighting with himself right now. After a moment , he finally opened his mouth to speak. " She's dead Emma. She didn't make it."

His voice was strangled. Like he couldn't bring himself to say the words. My heart must have fallen to my stomach because I took a second to catch my breath. Mae died. Mae didn't make it . I didn't realize that I was still standing there shocked when I should have been holding Logan . He's the one that needs to be comforted now more than ever. I dropped the water gun on a nearby couch and moved to him, pulling him to myself and wrapping my hands around his torso. His body tensed as it met mine. " I'm so sorry, Logan."

I knew that my words weren't enough right now. I knew that he probably didn't want my pity . I knew that I could never understand what he was passing through right now. How heavy his heart was right now but I know what it feels like to almost loose someone you love . I know how devastated I would have felt if my dad had actually died. I don't think I would be able to take it. I don't think I would be okay mentally if I ever lost someone I loved ,especially my dad . I don't even want to think of it.