Natasha Romanoff x Daughter One Shots

mental exhaustion

A/N: I'm very much aware that most of my one-shots have been depressing and very similar lately, but it's my way of ranting and coping at the moment so I'm very sorry...
Also the writing on this one kinda sucks

Y/N:
For me, one of the worst feelings in the world is feeling like you can be doing everything right and be doing everything you're 'supposed' to be doing and still feeling you're not enough. Feeling like your opinion is invalid, like you're not pretty enough, like you're not working hard enough.

Everyday is the same. I feel like all I want to do is escape my own mind but nothing is working and it's only getting worse.

I just want to be happy and feel normal. I mean, I know I have so much to be thankful for, and I'm not saying I'm not, but sometimes I wish it would all just stop. The constant stress of school, the constant anxiety that surrounds anyone of us going on a dangerous mission, the constant expectation I feel to 'just keeping going' and 'keep pushing through'.

It takes everything in me to get out of bed each morning, go to school, train, do homework and repeat. It seems stupid that I feel this way because it's sounds so simple but somehow it feels the complete opposite.  

Truthfully, the only reason I'm still here is because of my mom. Without knowing it, she is the only person that keeps me going. Yes we argue from time to time, but I love her more than anything in the world. She is my biggest inspiration and if I grow up to be half as amazing as she is, I will consider myself that luckiest person in the world.

•••

"Y/N, get out of bed you're going to be late." My mom says as she knocks on the other side of the door. I don't reply, instead I stay staring at my wall with my sheets pulled over me. I presumed she walked away as I didn't hear anything else after that.

I knew the whole team had a mission this morning and that they'd be back tonight so really, I could just stay in bed all day and no-one would know.

I don't know how much time has passed but apparently I'd fallen back asleep because my mom woke up. "Y/N baby it's seven-thirty you need to get up for school." She says gently. "I don't want to go."
"I know sweetheart but you need to, no-one is going to be home to look after you."
"I'm fourteen mom, I don't need anyone to look after me." I protest.
"You're going to school Y/N, end of discussion." She says sternly.
"Fine, I'm getting up."

My mom kisses me on the forehead before saying, "We've all got to go know, but I hope your day is amazing and I'll see you later tonight. I love you lots."
"I love you too." I say before getting out of bed and going to the bathroom. Really, I was just waiting for my mom to leave so I could go back to bed.

I pretty much stayed in the same position all day, only getting up to use the bathroom. I was too tired to eat or shower, let alone go to school.
I could hear my phone going off during the day but it couldn't be bothered answering it.

Natasha:
I got a call from Y/N's school whilst we were on our mission saying that she was absent so I tried calling her a few times but she wouldn't pick up. Steve was trying to assure me that she was fine and that she probably just skipped school and didn't want me finding out - hence her not picking up the phone - but I couldn't help but be worried that something had happened to her.

When we arrived back home the first thing I did was look for Y/N. She wasn't in any of the common areas so I went to check her room.

Her door was shut and I knocked a couple of times but there was no answer so I let myself in.

"Oh my god you're okay!" I sigh out of relief when I see Y/N lying on her bed. She was awake but I could tell she was exhausted.

"Hi mama." She smiles softly. "Hi baby. Are you okay?" I ask concerned, noticing that she wasn't quite herself. She shrugged. I went to sit next to her and pulled her into a hug. "Talk to me." I say gently. Immediately Y/N starting crying. Sobbing.

"What happened detka?"
"I don't know, it's just too much." She cries. "What's too much?"
"Everything."

"Oh Y/N, I'm sorry. Is this why you weren't at school today?" I ask and she nods. I now notice that she's still in her pyjamas from this morning. "Have you gotten out of bed today?" Y/N shakes her head 'no'.
"I'm sorry." She says. I grab under her chin and pull her face up to look at me. "You have nothing to be sorry for. I'm sorry I didn't see you were struggling."

Y/N cuddles in closer to me before I hear her stomach rumble. "I'm going to get you something to eat and you're going to have a shower and then we can sit down and watch a movie. Does that sound okay?" I ask. "Yes." She smiles.

We both get out of bed but before Y/N showers I go into her bathroom and take out the razors, knowing her past with self harming. She smiles when she sees them in my hand, "Thank you mama."
I smile and kiss her forehead, "I'll be back up in ten."

——————

A/N: hi! It's late and I'm too tired to write anymore so sorry about then ending 🤦🏼‍♀️
Hope you're all doing well <3

Not proofread