Natasha Romanoff x Daughter One Shots

ballet - tw

warnings: eating disorder, anxiety, my 2am writing...
age: 15

Y/N:
When I was little my mom started teaching my ballet. I remember being absolutely amazed at her talent as I watched her in awe. I still do to be honest.

Since I was 5 years old, ballet was all I wanted to do and after practically begging my mom, she put me in a professional ballet school a few years ago.

This year I turn 16 and I've got so many big auditions coming up and I am so nervous. What if all this training goes to waste? What if all the time and energy I put into ballet wasn't enough? What is the other girls are better than me? What if I'm not skinny enough?

These thoughts are running through my mind 24 hours a day, 7 days a week and it never seems to stop.

Mom decided that when she put me in a professional ballet school that it would be a better idea if I did online school considering the amount of hours I'd be dancing, but I'm still trying to balance a full-time load of school and then a 6 hour day of ballet as well as that.

I'm constantly tired, physically and mentally and I can't have more than a day off without feeling like I'm falling behind.

Winter break had just gone and technically we had a whole 2 weeks off, but my teachers still expected me to go into the studio everyday and train by myself, so I did. Except for Christmas of course.

Knowing that audition season is coming up, I didn't feel like I could even enjoy Christmas food so I stuck to the salad for lunch. The team got mad that I wasn't eating the 'good food', but they don't have a hundred auditions and competitions coming up in a few weeks that require you to stand in a leotard and tights in-front of some of the most influential people in ballet.

•••

Today as I stood in class, staring at all my imperfections in the mirror I couldn't help but want to cry. I wanted to be able to just grab a pair of scissors and cut off any bit of fat on my body.

"Y/N, focus!" I heard my teacher yell.

As many times as I tried, I couldn't get the exercises right for the life of me today and I was getting so frustrated.
I rested my head on my forearms as I leant against the barre, trying to take deep breaths and to not breakdown in-front of everyone.

Eventually, after what felt like I lifetime, the class came to an end. "Y/N, can I talk to you for a minute?" My teachers asks and I nod, picking up my water bottle and walking over to her.
"Are you okay? You've seemed a bit off lately." She asks. "Yeah I'm fine. I've just been really tired." I say, trying to put on a smile. "You sure?" She asks again, placing her hand on my shoulder. I nod, "I'm sure."
"Okay. Now go home and get some rest." She says, finally letting me leave the studio. "Thank you." I say.

"And go eat something Y/N, you're getting too skinny." She tells me just as I'm about to walking out the door. I turn to face her and chuckle awkwardly, not really knowing how to respond to that. It doesn't make sense, one day I get told that I'm not 'in shape' and the next I get told I'm 'too skinny'.

When I get home I throw my bag onto the kitchen counter and get out a mug out so I can make myself a cup of tea. I always have tea when I get home from ballet, because I fills me up enough so I don't feel as hungry when mom calls me back down for dinner.

After my tea, I go upstairs, take a shower and get into my pyjamas before I do any extra school work I have. Which is usually a lot.

•••

When I sat down with the rest of the team for dinner I saw that we were having lasagna and salad. I knew that I would have to just eat the salad because the lasagna had way too many calories.