Natasha Romanoff x Daughter One Shots

college

age: 18
warnings: self harm, eating disorder/disordered eating, calorie counting, angsttt and fluff at the end

Y/N:
My whole life I've spent my time and energy on things that I'm not actually interested in, just so I could prove that I'm worth something and the truth is, without peoples constant reassurance, I feel like the biggest failure in the world.

I thrive off of peoples compliments and getting A's on my assignments because I grew up with very toxic parents. They would constantly compare me to other kids and tell me how disappointed they were that I wasn't as smart or as pretty as them and I would get a beating if I came home with anything less than an A in my school reports.

When I was sixteen and lost my parents in an accident, I became an Avenger or one in training, and moved into the compound. I discovered I had powers when I was twelve, but was always too scared to use them. That was until I was fifteen and HYDRA took me. Apparently my parents owed them something and once they died I bared the brunt of their mistakes.

It didn't take long for the Avengers to find me. Well I don't think they were looking for me exactly, but I happened to be there when they took HYDRA down.

I quickly realised that the team were nothing like my parents. The environment I was living in was completely different.
Natasha kinda took me in as her own not long after moving in, and we've been super close since. She's always be more like a mom to me than my own mother ever was.

Suddenly, nobody cared about my grades as long as I was trying my best. The pressure from others to go to a Ivy League college was not there from anyone other than myself, because whilst the people around me changed, I've always had it so engrained in my mind that unless I achieved the best of the best, I was worthless.

I'm currently in my first year at Yale, and the workload is bigger than anything I expected. When I got into college, I decided to take a break from being an Avenger, only going on missions if I'm absolutely needed, just until I get my degree. I'm still training daily to keep up my fitness and sometimes I'll still go on patrol at night just because it's one thing I actually enjoy.

I'm going home tomorrow for spring break which part of me is looking forward to because I haven't seen the team since Christmas, but the other part of me just wants to stay on campus because I have exams coming up next term and I need to study.

If I'm being completely honest, I hate college. I never wanted to go, but I felt like I had to.

I get no more than three hours of sleep on a good night. I stay up until four in the morning studying and get up at seven to do more study. I then train for a couple of hours before I either have class or study some more. Before I know it it's nine pm and my whole day disappeared.

It got to the point where I would realise I hadn't eaten in sometimes two days and it wasn't intentional. At first. But then I got into a habit of only eating if I had finished all the work I needed to, which sometimes would take up to three or four days. Doing that gave me a sense of accomplishment and I finally felt like I had control over something.
Then it progressed to writing down every calorie I ate, when I did eat because, again, I felt in control.

When I would eat more than I would allow myself, the guilt took over, which is how I've ended up with scars covering my wrists.

the next morning.

I drove all the way back from New Haven, to New York. It only took a few hours, but it felt like forever. I only packed a few necessities, so luckily I didn't have a whole suitcase to bring in with me once I got to the compound.

As soon as I walked in, Natasha embraced me in a big hug, holding me so tightly that I could barely breathe.

"I missed you so much, sweetheart." She admits, pulling away from the hug and cupping my cheeks with tears in her eyes. I'm not going to lie, I wanted to cry to. I've been so busy with college that I barely gave myself time to realise how much I've missed my family, especially Nat. But I wasn't going to let myself cry, not in front of everyone.