Hot Chocolate

chapter thirty-eight, ratatouille.

- Camila -

Ratatouille. We picked a movie about a rat and a chef. It's a classic, but it's on the opposite end of the spectrum if you compare it to the last movie we watched together.

I'm not sure what he meant when he said he was mine, to me that sounds more romantic than anything and I thought he only wanted benefits. Which is why I didn't tell him I'm his. Is a relationship with him a good idea? Probably not. So many things could go wrong. So for now, we're friends with benefits, and we'll have to see how things work out.

"Do you think if you pulled my hair like that, I'd be able to cook as good as you do?"

"I think if I pulled your hair like that you'd just moan." He whispered as I lay on his bare chest.

"Shut up!"
I tilted my head to see him chuckling to himself. "You can't say that."

"Too late."

"You think you're hilarious, don't you?"

"I do." He carried on laughing.

"Hate you."

"No you don't." He squeezed me, planting a kiss on my head.
We settled back down just to be interrupted by a notification. "Is that mine or yours?"

"Yours I think." He shuffled and reached into his pants' pocket pulling out his phone and glancing at the screen. "Who is it?"

"Just Elle."

"Oh. Are you not going to reply?"

"Do you want to?" He handed me his phone. The screen lit up and I scanned over the text.
*Daisy and I just got back from our date, are you with Camila yet?*

"Daisy...?"

"Elle's girlfriend."

"Oh."

"You were jealous, weren't you?"

"I wasn't jealous..."

"Mhm I think you were." He stared at me, waiting for me to crack.

"I wasn't-" my voice shook. "Ok fine, I wanted to know what her deal was, that's all."

"That's all?"

"Mhm."

"You sure?" He pressed down the top of my laptop. "I think there's more to it than that."

"Fine." I rolled my eyes. "I was jealous that you were with another girl this weekend, happy?"

"Very." He gripped my jaw, holding my face to look at him. "She knows all about you..."

"Only good things I hope."

"Only the best."
I gave him a smile, leaning forward and allowing him to kiss me again. I'm getting worried about this, I have to admit. The way we kiss casually and flirt, but not like friends. There's more to it. And I know he can feel it too. The way we get jealous and protective, they way we constantly want each other. It's not good.

His hand roamed down to lower the covers, making its way to my breast as the other held my face close. His tongue slipped into my open mouth, his fingertips pinching my nipples, making me moan in pleasure. "Theo..."

"Yeah?"
He pulled me onto his lap, moving his mouth to my neck and his hand to my thigh. "Words, Camila."

"We shouldn't be doing this..."

"Why?"
He pulled away, staring up at me but not moving his hands. "What's wrong?"

"Don't you think we do this too much? Won't it change things eventually? Is this not a bad idea?"

"If it's bad, then why does it feel so good?"
My chest rose and fell, not knowing how to answer him. He gave me a smirk, lowering his head to my breasts, maintaining eye contact as her sucked on the tender skin in between. I rolled my head back, ignoring the parts of my brain that told me to stop this.
"Do you want me to stop?"

"No..."

"Good."

"But maybe we should."
He flattened his tongue, licking a strip up to my throat, and grabbed the back of my head to make me look at him.

"Do you want to stop?"

"You're getting want and need mixed up." I sighed. "I want you. All of you, all the time. That's the problem. But I need you as my best friend, all the time."

"What's wrong with having both?"

"We're getting addicted."

"That's 'cause you're like a drug, Cam. I am addicted. But could you blame me?"
His words rung in my ears, making me take back any second thoughts. I can't just call this off.
I sighed as a reply, closing my eyes to shut out my thoughts. I've got one of the hottest boys I've ever met in my bed, wrapped around my finger, and I'm really considering saying no.

My delayed answer was an answer itself, making him leaning forward, licking up the side of my neck. My body crawled with goosebumps. He brought his lips to my ear, nibbling on the lobe.
"I want you, all of you, all the time." He recited. "But I need you as my best friend, all the time." His voice was a raspy whisper in my ear, making me grow wet in his boxers. "I'm addicted to you. I crave you. I'm yours, but I want you to be mine."

"You know what will happen if I answer that..."

"I do. Which is why you don't have to answer right now. I just want you to know how I feel, because it's hard as hell acting like I don't feel."

"I know..."

"I know you know. And I know you that no answer is an answer. And that's okay."

"I'm sorry." I moved his head from the crook of my neck, wrapping my hands around his neck and holding his face in front of mine.

"We should get some sleep." He stated, looking down as he helped me climb off him.

"Goodnight."

"Goodnight."
We lay in the dark under the covers, staring at the ceiling. No hugs, no kisses, nothing. It took me a while to fall asleep, and I think he was the same. We both have too much on our minds right now.