You're Supposed To Be//Billie Eilish

chapter 15

billies pov:

i heard quiet talking and footsteps coming closer. will stepped in and left casper outside. the bed dipped as she sat down beside me.

"i-"

her voice cracked and she tried to suppress her sobs.

i pulled her into me instantly. she shivered against my chest as she tried to calm herself down.

"hey. it's okay. i'm here."

after a minute or two she pulled back.

"i-i'm so sorry that you have to deal with me."

deal with her. who hurt her so bad?

"y- you don't h-have to. you c-can just go."

"i won't go."

and as if to confirm a pulled her in again.

"you don't have to tell me what happened but just know that you can, okay?"

i asked after a few minutes.

"i really want to tell you but i'm scared."

"scared of what?"

"t-that you won't like me anymore and that you're gonna be disgusted by me."

she started to tear up again.

"hey, hey, hey. everything's fine. i'm not going anywhere. i could never be disgusted by you or not like you, okay? just tell me. you can trust me."

her bottom lip trembled but this time she fought her tears back with success.

i could practically see her thoughts running through her head. i could tell that she still wasn't sure.

"it's okay. i won't let you alone."

she dried her tear stains on her sleeve before she looked up at me.

"i'm gay. i like women."

i looked at her surprised. that was what was bothering her the whole time? if i knew that, i would have told her that it was okay and i didn't care. i felt so bad that she had felt like she had to hide that from me.

she thought that i'd care? she thought that i'd judge her for liking the same gender?

i shook my head and pulled her in a tight hug.

"you thought that i would not like you anymore because of that?"

she nodded against my chest as i rested my chin on her head.

"oh baby, i don't care who you like. i thought you knew that."

she sobbed against her hoodie that i was wearing.

"t-thank you."

"you don't have to thank me for that. it's who you are."

she took my right hand and fiddled with the rings i wore.

"ahm- so down there was my ex. i broke up with her a few weeks ago but she tried to go back with me, still tries..."

i nodded and listened closely. i was happy that she finally had the trust and braveness to open up to me. but i could already tell, that her story was sad.

"but i don't want to get back together because she treated me very badly. she kicked me out all the time when we where together and not only physically but also mentally hurt me. t-the bruise on my cheek, she came here two days ago and hit me because i told her all that.

i always got back with her because she had so much power over me. but i felt strong back then as i broke it up. but now she just won't leave me in peace and it hurts because i can't understand why she's doing that to me.

i fell in love with a whole different person and now she's just cruel."

i understood her so good, she didn't even know.

"i know, how you feel. it's all going to be okay, though. it might doesn't seem like it right now but it's all gonna be okay, okay?"

wills pov:

i was shocked by myself. i never let anyone see so much of me and especially not after only such a short time of knowing the person. but everything felt so different with billie. i felt safe when she was with me and she gave me the feeling of never leaving me alone. i knew i could trust her and she would be there for me no matter what.

but how the hell do i feel like this after only... like what? five days maybe?

on the one hand i'm grateful, that she is here and letting me feel like this but at the same time i'm so scared. i shouldn't trust her so much already.

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(720 words)

do you guys remember what the name of caspers boyfriend is? i've already skimmed everything but i can't remember. 

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