You're Supposed To Be//Billie Eilish

chapter 28

billies pov:

"i think i might have fallen in love."

i quietly sung to myself as i played the chords on the piano.

"what am i to do?"

i hummed as played the end of the song. a tear slipped from my eye and i let myself fall onto finneas bed behind me. 

it was currently 3 am and i couldn't sleep. just like the past few nights. it was impossible to sleep when only one thing was on my mind. will. 

it's been tree days since will showed up at my apartment and it's been horrible. i haven't cried so much since like a year ago or something. 

i tried to hide it from my family and everybody else though, because i still didn't want to explain my feelings. 

"billie? what are you doing?"

i looked up from my lap to see my mom standing in the door. 

"i-" 

my voice cracked and a sob escaped my lips. my vision got blurry as tears streamed down my cheeks.

i felt the bed dip next to me and my moms loving arms engulf me into a hug. she soothingly stroked my back and kissed the top of my head a few times.

"do you want to talk to me about it?"

she questioned when i had calmed down. i shrugged my shoulders.

i didn't even know. on the one hand i really needed to tell somebody about my feelings or else i soon couldn't handle it anymore but on the other hand i wasn't sure if i was ready. 

"billie, you know, you can always come and talk to me. i wan't you to be safe and happy."

i nodded into my moms shirt before pulling away and wiping my eyes.

"i-i want to tell you." 

i hiccuped at the beginning of my sentence. 

"i t-think i'm in love."

shaky breaths from crying so much escaped my throat.

"oh, sweetie, what's there to cry about?"

"i never wanted to f-fall in love again."

"oh, c'mere. it's okay."

mom pulled me to her again and i just let my tears fall. 

"is it will?"

"huh? h-how-"

how the hell did she know that?

"so it's true? i knew it."

"b-but how?"

"you don't think i see the way you look at her. a mom knows her children." 

"a-and you are okay with m-me liking a girl?"

she furrowed her eyebrows.

"of course. why wouldn't i?"

"i-i don't know."

"i'm so incredible proud of you, billie. and i love you so much, no matter what happens. hey, look at me, billie." 

i raised my eyes.

"i love you."

"i l-love you too."

she smiled at me before slowly letting go of me. 

"you are gonna tell me everything tomorrow, okay? i want to know all the details."

i nodded and wiped my eyes. we then crawled under finneas blanket together and i cuddled up to my mom.