Chapter 86

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Bakugous POV~

"What?" Is all I could think to say. Did she really just say that? I wait for her to respond but then I notice her even soft breathing and I know she's asleep.

I bring my hand up to lightly smack my face. Is this really what she thinks of me? We have been sleeping toge- I mean in the same bed since we moved into the dorms.

Why do I care so much? I've never cared about anyone like this. Why do I want her to like me so fucking bad? Why am I just letting her sleep on me? Why do I want...her? God, I hate this. I hate...her.

I know I don't mean it but I also don't even know what I do mean.

I keep my hand covering my face as I feel the tears welling up in my eyes. Why am I so fucking emotional? Why do I care so damn much? Why do I want her fucking bad?

I didn't realize how heavy I was breathing until I felt Y/n stir in her sleep. I try my best to remain calm and still but she still wakes up lifting her head.

"Are you ok?" She says softly, eyes barely open, not yet fully awake.

"Yeah, just go back to sleep." I say looking away from her. Luckily it was dark so she's not able to see my puffy eyes.

"I don't believe you." She says as I feel her sit up on top of me. "It's already midnight. Can you just tell me what's bothering you?" She says rubbing her eyes. I hate that I feel my face get red and hot but I can't help it. The moonlight coming in through the window hits her just right and her slightly messy hair with her tired eyes and her hands on my stomach are just too much to handle.

I sit up thinking that would be better for me but it got even worse. She stayed on me and now our faces were way too close. I couldn't take it anymore, I had to say something.

"Y/n...how do you feel about me?" I say in a whisper almost too low for her to hear, but I know she does. She stays quiet for a moment.

"What do you mean?" She says, her voice still groggy. I know we shouldn't be having this conversation at midnight but I can't keep putting it off.

"Am I really just a friend to you?" I ask, this time looking her in the eyes. She looks surprised.

"Do you not want to be friends?" She asks in a somewhat sad tone. Trying to read my expression.

"No." I say and I feel her stiffness. "I don't think I ever wanted to be friends with you Y/n." I continue, not knowing how exactly to tell her how I feel without being embarrassed.

"After everything that's happened...you don't want to be friends?" She says in a shaky voice. That's when it hit me, has she ever dated anyone, or been with someone romantically? Her awful father most likely didn't let that happen and by how close she is with that damn half an half I can only guess that we have different definitions of 'friends'.

"Wait Y/n I, um..." I don't know what to say as I see the tears well in her eyes. "I don't think you get what I'm trying to say." I try to explain, reaching to grab her arms but she swats my hands away and gets off of me and the bed.

"I understand enough. If we aren't friends then you shouldn't mind sleeping in your own room." she says as she walks to the door.

"Y/n stop acting stupid." I say stupidly.

"What?" She says bitterly as she turns to face me.

"You know I didn't mean it like that." I say, getting off the bed and walking over to her.

"Then why don't you start saying what you do mean?" She says angrily, almost yelling.

I was taken aback. I get that she's angry but she knows I have trouble saying what I mean. I want to tell her everything. I want to tell her just how much I like you right this moment, and maybe she'll feel the same way. But the small voice in the back of my head that tells me she'd never actually like someone like me wins. I stay quiet, staring at the ground until I hear the door open.

"Get out." She says holding the door open, she quietly sniffles as she looks away from me. I want nothing more to be on her bed again, her laying on me peacefully asleep. I take a step closer to her and she speaks again. "Go."

I listen, stepping outside, the door softly shuts behind me, even when she's angry she still wouldn't want to get me in trouble.

The walk back to my room was a slow one, not bothering to sneak around like usual. I couldn't care less if someone woke up anymore. All I want is to get in bed and sleep.

Although, once I got there, and finally lay down, I could do anything but sleep. I didn't need her to sleep before I met her so why do I need her now? Maybe this was a sign that we wouldn't be able to work out anyway.

I tried thinking of every way to forget about her already but I just couldn't, and it was pissing me off. 

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⏰ Last updated: May 01 ⏰

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