Music and Lyrics (Larry Stylinson)

Chapter 4

Harry and I spent every day together since that night two weeks ago. The more time I spent with Harry the more I liked him. His jokes were horrid but you couldn’t help but laugh, and everything we did was easy. Nothing was forced with us.

I tried avoiding my father but I knew he was watching me as I left with Harry. Everyday I feared for when the time came that it was just I and my father in the house. I knew he wouldn't hold anything back on me.

I had met Niall, Harry's best mate, and Harry had met Zayn and Liam. We all gathered at a small pub in town one night and I loved how easy everything felt with all of us together. It was like we had all been friends for years. Niall felt as though he was the fifth wheel though because Harry and I are together, and Liam and Zayn have been dating for years now. He didn't care much as long as there was beer to pass around and everyone was having a good time. I really liked this young Irish lad.

*~* 

I grabbed my guitar and started heading down stairs to wait for Harry. Today we were finally going to start guitar lessons because he had been begging for about a week now and I finally gave in.

I saw my father in the living room watching TV and prayed he wouldn't see me. It was just he and I in the house today and I was hoping Harry would get here soon.

I was looking out of our front window so when Harry came I could walk out of the house. I moved in front of the door and just stood there waiting.

"What are you doing?"

Shit, I didn't realized he had gotten up from the couch. He was standing right in front of me and I started backing towards the front door.

"I'm... I'm uh waiting to be picked up." I could feel the front door's handle and I just wanted to run, but before I could my father grabbed me by the shirt, and pulled me towards him.

"Are going out with you're little gay friend?"

His face was turning red with anger, and his grip on my shirt was tightening. I knew I should try to fight back a little but my father is a much bigger man than I am. He pulled me in closer and then shoved me hard so my back hit the front door. Pain shot up through my spine and I knew my back would be bruised. Before I knew what was happening a hand slapped me across my face leaving a strong stinging pain, and I could feel tears forming but refusing to fall. A punch to the gut had me doubled over in pain and soon I was on the floor clutching my stomach. Hot tears had now reached my cheeks and there was nothing I could do to stop them.

"Please stop!" I couldn't ignore the pain as he swung his foot back and hit me in the gut again, and again. My back was pinned against the front door and every time he kicked me my back would slam against the door. He was standing above me, blocking any other exit.

I heard a knock at the door and knew it was Harry. I pounded my fist against the door "Harry!" I tried to scream but it came out as a choked sob.

The door immediately swung open to reveal a worried Harry looking around and then realizing I was on the floor with my father above me. He was staring at me while I was still on the ground unsure of what to do. My father reached down and pulled me up by my shirt and then shoved me towards Harry. I stumbled back into him and he caught me before I could fall backwards.

"Take this faggot out of my house." His words came out like venom and I couldn't help but allow a few stray tears come out. My father picked up my guitar case and threw it out the door and it landed on the grass with a thud.

Harry grabbed me by the hand and he led me away from the house. I walked towards my guitar case and as I bent down to pick up my guitar a pain shot threw my back and an ached noise escaped my mouth. Harry must have noticed because he then bent down to pick up the guitar.

We walked to the car and got in. The car ride was quiet but it was comforting having Harry's hand in my own tracing small circles with his thumb. I couldn't stop myself from sniffling every few seconds trying to get over what had just happened.

When we got to the river we took a seat on the dock and Harry finally spoke, breaking the silence.

"Lou...I don't..."

He put his hands over his face and shoved his hair back, and away from his eyes. I could tell he wanted to say something, but he didn't know what to say. He just looked at me with worried eyes. He was slumped over and wore a sad expression on his face and I wasn't sure what to do.

I couldn't stop myself as hot tears started rolling down my cheeks again. I shook my head in frustration as I looked in my

"I'm sorry... I'm better off just being by myself. I mean you shouldn't have to put up with my shit. And now I'm crying again.. Y-you shouldn't have to deal with this." I couldn't believe I was crying in front of him. Why did I allow this to happen? Why did I allow this amazing person to come into my life only for me to mess everything up?

"Lou, you have nothing to apologize for..."

I was startled as two strong arms wrapped around me and pulled me in. I could feel him kissing the top of head and I leaned into it. I couldn't believe how easily this boy had me coming undone. He made it hard for me to breath, and as I closed my eyes and allowed him to hold me, just thinking of him being here with me made everything okay.

I gathered up my courage as I began to speak, not knowing how he would react. I looked up at him and took a breath. "My father hates me because I’m gay. When I told my parents my father he had my mum take the kids out for a little while and I figured he wanted to talk. Instead he just started hitting me. He said he was going to beat the gay out of me. He kept hitting and kicking me until I couldn't move anymore... When my mum got home he told her some kids beat me up while I was on a walk. Now every time we're alone in the house I..." I put my head against his chest as soft tears escaped. He pulled me in tighter, rubbing small circles on my back. "My mum and I used to be so close.. I told them when I was fifteen and every time my father and I are alone he hurts me. What makes it worse is that my mum knows! She knows what he does to me and she does nothing about it!!" I could feel my anger rising as I was telling Harry all of this and I couldn't help but start shaking as more tears came out.

"Shh, it's okay. I got you Lou. It's okay..."

Harry pulled me in closer and I never knew someone’s embrace could be as comforting as his was. I began to calm down and even my breathing as he rubbed my back softly.

"That song I heard you play when we first met... That was about them, wasn't it? You and your parents?"

"Yeah..." It came out as a whisper and I felt him kiss my head once more.

"Did he give you the bruise too?" He asked angered.

I nodded against and he just held onto me tighter, as he rubbed my back, not letting his grip on me loosen.

We stayed like that for I don't even know how long. Just sitting in each other’s arms gazing out onto the water allowing time to pass us by.

 *~*

Harry had dropped me off back house and I was thankful the house was empty. It was around dinnertime so I guess my parents had taken the kids out to eat.

While at the river with Harry we didn't have a guitar lesson. Instead we just talked. I couldn't remember the last time I opened up to someone so much, except for Liam and Zayn but I've known them for years now. I've known Zayn even longer, as I met him in high school.

As I walked into my room I had an idea for a song and began to write. The words coming out so easily I let my hand dance across the paper. As I finished I looked at it and was extremely proud of what I come up with. I decided to shoot Harry a text asking if we could do guitar lessons later tonight.

To: Harry- Guitar lessons tonight? Make up for this afternoon?

From: Harry- Sounds good :) I'll pick you up in an hour x