Music and Lyrics (Larry Stylinson)

Chapter 11

3 Months Later

I was picking Harry up from school, and when he got in the car I couldn't look at him. 

"Hey love. It's bloody cold out, even for December."

He leaned in to kiss my cheek and I leaned away so he would miss. I didn't want him to see my face, and I tried hiding myself as best I could.

He sat back in his seat with a confused look on his face.

"Something wrong Lou?"

I shook my head and started the car as Harry looked at me questioningly.

He knew something was wrong as I drove back to his flat and quietly avoided his gaze the entire time. When we got back to the flat I walked quickly inside so Harry couldn't see me. I made it to the living room of the flat before I could hear him jogging after me and when he got close enough he grabbed my arm and spun me around to look at him.  When I looked at him he gasped and could only stare. The left side of my face was bruised, the right side of my face only reddened from where I was slapped and my lip was cut.

"What the hell happened Louis?!"

He went to cup my cheeks but I hissed in pain as he touched me. He let go of me and I dropped my head and was staring at the ground, refusing to look at him.

"Louis!! What happened?!"

I was still staring at the ground as I shook my head and felt tears forming in my eyes.

"Lou.. Please, just let me help you..."

I looked over at him as a few stray tears fell.

"You can't help me Harry... No one can help me!"

Tears started streaming down my face and I shook my head more trying to stop myself from crying.

"Why do you keep shaking your head? Lou, I don't understand..."

I turn to look at him and I could feel my chest tightening, as I struggled to even my breathing.

"How could you, Harry?! How could you understand what it's like to have your own father hate you?!"

Harry just stared at me with his mouth slightly open. I never yelled at him and he didn't know what to do.

I could feel myself shake as I became more and more angry. As I looked at him I felt my hands clench into fists.

"Why does he do this?! I'm his son!! It's not fair, I didn't do anything wrong!"

"Lou, I get why you're upset-"

"NO YOU DON'T HARRY!"

I saw him jump as I yelled. He looked at me like I had just punched him and I could see tears forming in his eyes. But I couldn't help the anger that had been building up inside me for so long.

"I hate who I am because of him! He ruined me Harry! I'm just a worthless piece of shit that shouldn't even living..."

I felt my legs go weak and I fell onto the couch. I brought my hands up to my face as I cried and sat there hunched over letting every emotion I had come out of me.

"Don't you dare say that Louis! You know that's not true!!"

I knew he wasn't mad at me, just scared for me as he yelled.

"Have you ever thought how it effects me too?! I want so badly to help you, and whenever I try  you shut me out!"

I looked up at him and saw tears on his face. 

"God Lou! I don't want to yell at you I really don't..." He started pacing as he talked. "But you need to let me help you! You come over here to stay for the weekend and I see you with a bruised body... Every week... Every week this happens, and every week you shut me out more and more!"

The only thing I could do was stare at him... I didn't know that I had been doing that to him. I just didn't think he would want to deal with the drama of it all...

He slowly walked over to me and sat next to me on the couch, looking over at me and hesitantly put a hand on my back. At his touch I winced a little knowing there were bruises there too.

He was trying to calm himself down and me as he rubbed my back gently and tried evening his breathing.

"Just because that prick doesn't love you... That doesn't mean you're not loved.... You're sisters and brother love you, and you're mum... I love you..."

I looked at Harry, my eyes swollen from crying.

"If my mom loves me why doesn't she stop it?"

He looked at the ground as if the answer would be written there.

"I don't know love... Maybe she doesn't know how... I..."

I could tell he was getting frustrated because he didn't have an answer and I knew in that moment that he understood just how confused I was about my situation.

"Harry... I'm sorry... I'm not mad at you, just him. I didn't mean to yell at you like that..."

He looked up from the ground and at me with a saddened expression.

"I know love. I just wished you understood that even though I don't fully understand how this entire situation feels I want to help. I really do..."

"There's nothing you can do to help me Harry."

"I can get you away from that house... You can move in here. You basically live here already and we love it. Well I mean I love it that you're here so much, I don't know-"

He stopped as I started staring at him with a confused expression on my face. I leaned in slightly and connected our lips softly. He was startled at first but then relaxed into it wrapping his arms around my waist and pulling me in.

"I don't want you to offer this out of pity..."

I looked at him scared that he didn't really want this.

"No Lou, of course not! I've wanted to ask you for a month now but I just didn't know how..."

"Harry I'll move in but only if that's what you really want. I don't want to push you into something you aren't ready for..."

"I love you Louis... Of course I want you to move in."

I leaned forward and kissed him softly. Not full of want, or need, but full of love.

"I'll have to get packing then."