Finding happiness (previously known as Billionaire playboy's secret past)

A perfectly good day ruined

Hi guys, Just a heads up that this chapter addresses some violent content.

I put on my best dress just in case I see Knox today. I want to look my best. I have braided my hair so it looks neat and I've even borrowed mum's newish shoes to complete the look. She just doesn't know that I borrowed them (yet). She loves these shoes because they are the last gift she received from dad for their 19th anniversary. The shoes are a little bit big on me but if I walk slowly you won't see my feet slipping in and out. I think it's the best I've looked in a while and I can't wait to see Knox's expression when he sees me.

I'm in a good mood. The sun is shining, the birds are chirping and I've just heard that the council is planning to open the primary school back up as there is some political talk of ceasefire. I am excited that there's a chance of a normal life after all, and hopeful our dad will be returned to us. The school opening, is not really for me as I'm past primary school stage, but all the other kids including my brother who is 6years old would benefit and I'm happy for them. This day has definitely started great and I'm ready to enjoy every bit of it. Feels like a good day to do something reckless too.

Lately I've been thinking of giving Knox my purity. I mean, I'm going to lose it anyway so why not lose it to someone I actually like. Someone who cares about me, he's the first one I feel would be worth of my v card. I think I know that this cannot lead anywhere, I don't see a life with Knox when he completes this mission, but when he is here I will enjoy his presence. After that, I don't know what will happen, I'll deal when I get there.

There have been rumours flying around about me and Knox. I only found out because mum asked me about it and I denied it vehemently. She knows I'm lying but she won't accuse me of such. She didn't push the issue, she just said, ''If your dad was here, he'd know what to do,'' and that was it from mum. Well, I got out of that one easy. The less she cares, the less I will feel guilty about my plans.

Now I want to move ahead and do the deed with him. I know it in my bones that if I don't give my virginity to Knox, I will lose it to one of those rapist rebel fighters. That's what they do. They'll either gang rape you, or you'll be claimed by one of their leaders and be forced to be one of the many women kept to reproduce little rebels or he'd sell you to other goons. They're not choices I'd like to be presented with.

Anyway, I've got my good clothes on and my nice underwear. I bought this pair last week just for this occasion. It's not lacy but it's cotton and its new, all for Knox's eyes. Now, I just need to know how to get onto the subject, make him lose control and go beyond kissing and touching. I want heavy make-out that blows our minds that we won't want to stop.

I'm so engrossed in my plans for today that I forget the number one rule of living in a warzone. ''Always keep your eyes and ears open. If you think you heard something act on it, never second guess yourself and run for your life. Don't try and face the danger if you can avoid it.'' I think I've become too comfortable that my mind doesn't comprehend danger immediately, but the time I felt a presence, I didn't even have time to run, I froze, just like that.

To my relief it was only Jason. Now Jason maybe a changed person, but he still gives me the chills. The hairs at the back of my neck stand up. This is the feeling I always get when Jason is near. I'm never settled. To his credit he actually smiles and greets me, this is a first. I respond accordingly and my game is back on. He's not going to catch me napping. I'll be ready for anything. I think he notices my discomfort and he tries to calm me down.

''It's ok Maya; it's only me. I didn't mean to startle you. I just saw you walking alone and I thought I'd walk you to where you're going. It's dangerous in these places you know,'' he says sounding sincere. I almost bought it.