Finding happiness (previously known as Billionaire playboy's secret past)

Totally broken

I must have received some really bad blows to my head because I think that I was unconscious for a while. By the time I woke up, it was already dark outside, and I was very confused as to where I was and what I was doing outside at night. The confusion soon cleared as my body and brains caught up. I was in so much pain. I couldn't even pinpoint where it hurt most. I don't think I've ever received such a brutal beating in my life. Don't get me wrong, mum and dad are all for corporal punishment and I always thought their beatings were painful, but this is a whole new level of pain. My chest hurts, breathing hurts and I have dried blood everywhere, I don't know where my injuries start or end or even if I have open wounds or not.

I try to get up on my own, but it is really hard, so I roll myself closer to the tree and prop myself up. I use the tree as a crutch to help me up. I stay there for a while catching my breath and assessing the extent of my injuries. Looking around I see a little dry tree branch that I decide I'll use as a walking stick as my knee is definitely messed up. I don't know what happened, but it's locked in an awkward position and I have to drag it. The only parts of me not hurting at the moment are my feet, that's a relief as I need them to try and walk home. Just as I'm thinking of my feet, I soon realise that I only have one shoe on. My mum's shoes, I have to find the other one.

It's pitch black and I scrounge around using my hands trying to feel for the shoe. It's very hard to do when you can't bend or do much, so I sit back down and bum crawl around. I'm in tears from the amount of pain I'm adding to myself and also because I can't find the shoe. I refuse to let my mind wander back to what almost happened. Oh God, I almost got raped, I force my mind to think about the unpleasant task of finding mum's shoe. I finally give up, I can't see anything and even if I could, my eyes are blinded with tears, my bum has gone numb. I try getting up again by propping my back on the tree and moving up slowly till I'm almost upright. At this time my tears are free flowing, I've been crying for so long I'm actually surprised I still have tears left.

I finally allow myself to go home, I walk so slowly almost hesitantly every time I take a step. It is so dark. I stumble so many times, I don't have it in me to dwell on the bruises and blood, what's a few more scratches from the low hanging branches in my path, I've endured worse.

As I get closer to our homestead, I am now more worried about how I will explain this to mum. She will be stressed if I tell her. I haven't seen what I look like but I know my dress is in shreds and I'm holding one shoe, walking with a stick and who knows what my face looks like. I don't want to worry mum, so I come up with a plan. I'll sneak in and wash up then go to bed. I'll explain to mum if she asks, just not today. Who knows, she may not even notice, she's been almost an absent parent lately. I just need a good clean up and a good night sleep. I should be almost good by tomorrow. At least I hope so or I'll have to explain to every man and his dog around here, people are so nosy in the village.

I got into my room and stripped off what was left of my clothes, limped all the way to the shower and got ready to clean myself. As soon as the water touched my skin, it stung. Washing was harder than I thought. I couldn't reach most of my body, I couldn't really bend and all I could do is towel my front torso and I was bruised. This would be hard to hide. In the end I just let water run down my body. There was quite a lot of dry blood mixed with tree bark and mud. I stood under the water for so long that it started to get cold and I almost felt cleansed. Not enough though to take the feeling of having Jason's grubby hands on my skin. I couldn't really reach most of my body to dry myself without hurting so I just left the shower. I limped even more to my room dripping water everywhere. I was so tired I just wanted to plonk myself on top of the bed, but I knew that would hurt even more so I laid myself down so slowly, a tortoise would have been proud at the speed. I didn't dry myself, it was too much work and I didn't want the towel to touch my body more than necessary.