Finding happiness (previously known as Billionaire playboy's secret past)

Love is in the air, just not for me

Even though it has been a tough week for us emotionally, Sunday's have become very special to me. Nora and I get to hang out and we talk about boys, specifically her man. I have no love life to talk about. No one even looks twice at me, once they realise the bulging stomach. Nora on the hand is looking really good. I think the attention from Lungi is really doing her good. She is radiantly glowing. Funny how people believe pregnant women are always glowing, well, I am not but my dear friend Nora is glowing for both of us.

This week Lungi finally had the guts to ask Nora out and she is ecstatic. She 'popped' by my house on Thursday to tell me it has finally happened and that they are officially seeing each other now. I'm so happy for her she deserves to be loved. I like that she's found that with a decent guy. Today I get to meet this guy for the first time and I'm ready to play the role of the protective friend. I've practised my lines about cutting his nuts or his penis or both if he hurt my friend. I've practised in my head so many times that I'm beginning to believe I could actually do it if he was stupid enough to hurt Nora.

My fears are laid to rest when I meet Lungi. He is such a lovely guy. Very soft spoken and seems to really like my friend. He can't take his eyes off of her and she is loving the attention. They seem to gaze at each other and forget that I'm here. It makes me think of Knox and I question if we ever had anything similar to that or if it was infatuation from my part and just physical attraction for him. I know at some point I thought I loved him, but I am beginning to doubt if that is what love looks like. I've never been in love and neither had he. Maybe we were just 2 people incredibly attracted to each other and couldn't keep our hands off each other's body.

I have to admit, I am a little jealous that Nora has someone to share her ups and downs of this place.

"Well Maya, Nora has told me so much about you. It's a pleasure to finally meet you." he says extending his hand to me.

"Same here Lungi. Nora has told me so much about you, only good things though." I say returning his handshake

"I sure hope so." He says with a chuckle.

"Let's get this out of the way. Don't hurt my friend, if you do, I will come down on you like a pitbull." I say very proud that I got that threat out, even though it's not the original one I had rehearsed.

I'm sure he is not threatened by a very pregnant woman but he amuses me by taking my little rant seriously and responding with "noted, I'll be good to her."

We spend most of the day at the market, walking around and when I was tired, we'd sit down and rest. Lungi made sure that we were kept hydrated and fed by buying us food and drinks. It was so good. Probably one of the few days that I've really enjoyed myself in this place. When Lungi wanted to buy food for Nora to take home, she refused. At first I couldn't understand her reasoning but later she confessed that she really wanted to, but she didn't want him to feel like he has to look after her and her family. Obviously he knows the struggle that the refugees in this place face and wanted to help, but Nora doesn't want to be indebted to him. I can understand where she is coming from considering her background, but Lungi doesn't seem to get it but he lets it go.

I like Lungi because even though we talked about the baby, he didn't pry into the details, neither did he pretend that the pregnancy wasn't there either. He was comfortable with me and my bump. We talked about baby names and Nora is convinced it's a girl and therefore should be called either Manox or Nora. I'm convinced it's a boy and I could name it Manox but I want a name that will stand out, but not in a weird way. Also If I ever decide to give the baby Knox's last name, it would sound bizarre to name a child Manox Knox. I had to remind Nora once or twice that Knox is not the baby's father's first name.

"So what's the father's name?" Lungi asks with genuine curiosity

"Umm... I actually don't know. I never found out." I respond quite embarrassed at this time.

I never actually felt any need to ask for his first name. Everyone called him Knox. It never crossed my mind so I never enquired about his first name.

"I thought you 2 were in some sort of relationship. How did you go that far without being on first name basis or at least knowing his name?" Nora says pointing to my tummy.

"It seriously never came up." I reply wanting this conversation to come to an end.

"Before we go any further Lungi, what is your last name?" Trust Nora to cut to the chase with her questions.

"It's Mlilo, why? You want to name my babies after me?" He says chuckling and shaking his head.

"Of course, all 6 of them will be Mlilo 1 to Mlilo 6. No need for first names, they're a hassle anyway and I can never keep up with the new names some of these rich people invent for their children." Nora is very good at changing topics and now that we're not talking about me, I'm back to being comfortable and laughing at her and Lungi's antics. They are really good together.

**********

By the time Nora and I heard back, I have mulled over and over about Knox's given name. Have I been too naïve to think of the important things. If I was a guy, I'd say I was thinking with my penis, I'm a girl, what am I thinking with?

When I got home I decided to have a conversation I've been dreading to have with mum. I'm sure how she would take my request but the baby will be here in 3 months and I need to know before then.

"Mum, you know the baby will be here soon right? I was talking to Nora and we started talking about names. Would you be ok with it if I gave the baby our last name?" I ask rubbing my tummy.

Mum suddenly turns around to look at me, "Why, what happened. Why would you want to give the baby the last name that is not his or hers. That's not our way of life. If you didn't know the father, then yes you can use your father's surname." She says sitting next to me.

"I just wanted to avoid putting more attention on my child by giving him a last name as Knox." I respond looking at my mother.

"Sweetheart, your baby is going to be different no matter what. You need to accept that. Giving the baby a last name shows that you know who he or she belongs to. The baby wasn't just created by strangers, passing each other. It's our way darling, children belong with the man's family and they will take the man's last name. They are considered his seed." As soon as mum starts talking about seed, I stand up to show the end of this conversation. I don't want her to start having a conversation that involves sex or body parts with me, not today.

As I am walking away, mum mentions that I need to start getting ready for the baby. I need to start putting little clothes and buying a few things I can afford for the baby. I wouldn't want to be caught unaware if the baby came earlier than the predicted 24 February date.

Now that I've settled that with mum, I need to think of a name. I will most likely give him a name when I meet him for the first time, you know, a name that suits his character.

Not too long to go now little one.