A Blooming Rose

Chapter 30

In movies how you have the main character who has all the attention, and then you have the hundreds of bystanders who are simply there as background noise. I feel like a bystander. I feel as though my body and soul are disconnected at the moment. My body lying in this hospital bed and my soul just watching me.

My eyes have been more or less glued to the window as people run towards their patients, or simply stroll down the hallway with their friends. I haven't had it in me to get up and leave this god forsaken bed or leave this depressing room.

I've not seen a single person except mom, dad, Kelly, Mason, and Dr Watson. They've all been trying to come see me but I've more or less declined each and every time. I feel bad. I'm not the only person who lost someone and Mason's been by my side every second of the day. He thinks I haven't heard him silently cry as he holds me as tight as he could. The red eyes in the morning and the wet patch of tears on my shoulder are a dead giveaway, and all I want to do is take it away. Take away the pain he's feeling.

Sometimes it feels as though time is going in slow motion. When it does, I just want to close my eyes and sleep. I want this to go by as quickly as possible. I hate feeling like this. I never once have experienced my heart breaking, but I'd assume it's this. People say when their heart breaks, it physically hurts. They have a tight feeling in their chest as though someone actually got a hammer and repeatedly hit their heart. And that's exactly how I feel.

"...back for absolutely anything at all." Dr Watson spoke as I snapped out of whatever trance I was in, and looked up at her. She had a smile on her face but I could see the sadness in her eyes. It must be so painful to have to deal with multiple miscarriages at a time. I doubt I'm the only one that had one these last two days.

"Thank you." Mason smiled as she nodded and left the room.

He picked up my bag and wheeled the wheelchair out of the room. We silently made it to the car and Mason picked me up out of the wheelchair and gently sat me down in the passenger seat. After closing the door, he took the wheelchair back inside and came right back out a couple seconds later.

His hand held mine the entire ride home. He played my favourite songs occasionally looking over at me, but I kept my eyes glued to the window. Every time we were stopped at a red light, I felt my chest tightened when I saw parents rolling the stroller down the sidewalk. Some holding a hand each of their little toddlers, swinging them in the air.

Mason and I would be good parents. I just know we would be. I'd be the crazy mom who dresses her kid up in the cutest outfits, matching with my own. I'd be throwing the biggest parties on every occasion. They learnt to walk? Party. They lost a tooth? Party. They said mama but they're really talking gibberish? Party. They chose me over their dad? Party.

And Mason, Mason would be the perfect dad. He's the type of person that would let me sleep in the middle of the night and check on our baby when it cries. He'd go to all their sports games sitting right up front, and go to every single school recital even if they're playing a tree. He'd be in our backyard teaching them how to beat people up.

"...to go?" I heard Mason say as I looked away from the window and noticed the familiar dark parking lot.

Nodding, he hesitantly got out of the car and opened my door before helping me out. After closing the door and locking the car, he hooked an arm under my legs and another around my back before lifting me in the air. I wasn't complaining though, I don't think I had it in me to walk further than two feet.

I rest my head on his chest and closed my eyes, the sound of his strong heartbeat being the only sound I wanted to focus on.

Soon enough we were back at our apartment, he kicked the door close behind him and walked over to the couch before sitting down. I cuddle up into his lap while he put a blanket around us before wrapping his arms around me.