Behind My Eyes.

let me sleep.

slight tw: talk of self-harm.

-

i'm so insanely tired...

i just want to sleep.

however, sleep never seems to come.

at least not without a fight.

last month the biggest fight was dealing with images of self-harm behind my eyelids and the only way to get it to stop was to make those angry red marks appear.

now i'm sitting on my floor staring at the eight red lines on my leg and wondering how badly i must need to sleep if i was willing to go this far for it.

those thoughts are gone for now.

this month i'm stuck with your stupid laugh and you're dumb smile and the way your annoying eyes sparkle.

i don't know what's worse.

hurting myself or that.

i don't know how to get you out of my head.

i thought maybe if i saw a picture of you or i heard your voice in a video that it would stop.

nothing is helping and it's gotten worse.

now you're in my dreams and i can't get you out of my head.

i hope i haunt your dreams too, you asshole.

you don't get out of this so easily.

who the hell do you think you are?

i just want to sleep!

it's three-thirty in the morning.

see you in my dreams.

i̶ ̶m̶i̶s̶s̶ ̶y̶o̶u̶.̶