Behind My Eyes.

quiet.

i often think about all the things i should've said.

things that should've slipped past my lips in the heat of the fight.

a comeback that should've been spoken louder so i wouldn't have been standing on the sidelines like a fish out of water.

things that i should've said louder during two am conversations even if you were asleep on the other end of the phone.

i should've said more.

i've said so much during my short period of time on earth but i don't think i've said the things that i've wanted to say nearly as much as i should.

and even if i did say the things that i meant to say i never said half of the things that i should've said to you.

and i think about that all the time.

there's already so much stuff i regret not saying.

so much that i regret not doing.

so many missed opportunities because i've been too quiet. 

i need to learn how to say what i feel in the moment.

i've always been the type to shy away from the things i want because i've been too scared to go get what i want.

i need to learn how to take control and do things the way that i want them to be.

i need to stop letting people walk all over me.

it's been a habit that i've had for far too long and i need to break the cycle.

no longer will i sit back and allow myself to be treated like a doormat for other people's enjoyment.