Behind My Eyes.

winter thoughts.

the familiar chill of charlotte winters seeps into my bones draining me of all warmth.

i begin to ponder upon the last year of my life as i so often do this late at night.

according to my snapchat memories, a year ago today i was with a dear friend at their house.

at their house were some of the finest people i'd ever had the pleasure of meeting.

well i thought they were but as time went on i realized that they weren't as great as i thought.

i'm not sure when i realized that or how i finally did,

it's odd to think about that.

i pondered on that for one hundred and eighty-two days.

i never got my answer.

i came to terms with it,

or so i thought.

i started rethinking it when he wished me happy birthday... 

why?

why would he do that?

we ended on such horrible terms.

plus he always treated me like garbage.

i spent another two weeks thinking about that.

i can't believe i spent so much time thinking about someone who i know wouldn't spend more than one second on me.

the cold air in my bones seems to always remind me of you.

and your colder than ice heart.