Chapter 2 - Panicked

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⚠️TW⚠️
Panic attacks
Swearing
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JULIETTE'S POV:
"I love you too, sweetheart" his hushed tone travels to my, and only my, ears. As the world around me bursts with conversations, in my head all that's playing is my own voice:

Breath in
Breath out
Breath in
Breath out
Breath in
Breath out

I'm brought out of my trance by Kenji saying my name, well J, but that's my name to him apparently. "J!" I turn my head to look at him. "What?" I mumble. "I called you like five times. Are you okay?" I make the grip I have on Aaron's hand tighter, why am I worried he's asking this? "Yes I'm fine. What do you need?" My face is trying so desperately to form a smile, but fails. "Wow J, are you actually okay, you're looking a bit pale" his voice now more hushed. I just nod and stand up and rush out of the canteen.

I sit against a wall and bring my legs up to my chest and bury my face in them shaking as if I'm in an igloo with nothing but a bathing suit on, except I'm burning up. My mouth is dry and my lungs are giving up on me. I feel and hand on my shoulder and I jerk back at the motion. Then I see Aaron's worried eyes looking into my watering ones like he's my guardian angel. "Love, it's okay. Deep breaths, everything is okay." He says sitting next to me and pulling me into his chest, I now shed my tears onto his shirt. "Shh'' he rubs my back. "It's all okay. I'm okay, your okay, everyone's okay."

I calmed down after a little while. I look up, from his now drenched shirt, and sniffle out "I'm okay now". He gives me a shy smile and kisses my forehead. "Would you like to go back in?" I nod my head. "Okay come on then" he stands up and offers me his hand which I happily take and he leads us both into the hall and back to where we were sitting.

I scoot my chair closer to Aaron and rest my head on his shoulder. "You okay J?" A worried Kenji asked. I let out a small smile and a gentle nod. "I'm okay now, just got a little... worked up" I said shutting my eyes to contain the tears. "Everything's okay now" Aaron says whilst stroking my arm, the one not resting against him.  "Yeah, everything is okay" I say back.
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After breakfast me and Aaron walked back to our bedroom and we're now sitting in his office. He's sitting behind the desk and I'm sad in one of the two chairs on the opposite side.

"Hey Aaron" I say. "Yes, love." I still blush whenever he calls me 'love'. He looks up from his paperwork. "The other sectors, what's happening with them... You know if you had to guess?" I ask the question that's been playing on my mind ever since the fall of Anderson. "Honestly love, I have no idea" his voice painted with unease. "Do you think they... you know, plan to attack 45?" Now my voice was pained with unease as-well. "I'm not sure love, I'm not sure." I rise from my seat after he's spoken and walk to the massive floor to ceiling window that's on the wall behind him. I rest the left side of my head on the cold glass. "They really fucked up this world, didn't they." I mutter. "Yes, but we're going to bring this world back to life." He says coming and wrapping his arms around my waist and hugging me from behind. "One day, love, things will all be different. Trees and grass everywhere, homes, bakery's, shops, country parks, and you and I can have picnics on the beach with, maybe, our child or children" at this I turn around and face him.

He takes a step back. "What" he asks confused. "Children?" I whisper "you want to have kids?" I am dumbfounded. "Well, yeah. If you don't, that's okay. I just want to have a family, a loving one." He looks at the floor. "A-Aaron, you want to be a father one day?" I ask. "Well not right now, you're nineteen and I'm twenty, but in the future, when we have our own house, yes I would like that" I let a tear slip at what he's saying. "R-really?" I ask. "D-do you?" He seems apprehensive to ask the question. "Yes, what you just said, that's what I want." I walk over to Aaron and wrap my arms around him.

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Word count: 773

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