Survived Me: a Shatter Me fan-fiction (Warnette)

Chapter 51 - Procrastination

⚠️TW⚠️
Panic
Fear
Self isolation
Anxiety
Hearing voices
Talk of war
Manipulation
Betrayal
————
JULIETTE'S POV:
It's been two weeks. Two weeks of working out the details of war, then making up a whole new story to tell the sector so this 'spy' doesn't know what I'm really intending to do. There's only two people I fully trust, Aaron and Kenji. Aaron wouldn't have been in a rebel group against himself for years before I met him and Kenji wouldn't go against Castle, who, then, had his own group. But I can't discuss with them yet, not until I'm positive no one else is around.

So, that's what I plan on doing today. Finding a space where I can tell both of them alone.
I already have found a place I think it'll be safe enough, my old cell. The last time it was used was the first time Sebastian took me, since then the whole room has been searched for cameras, microphones, trackers, anything. They cleared them all out and you can't hear through any walls, if you wanted to hear what I am saying you'd have to be in the room, in plain sight. There aren't any hiding spots, only a sink, toilet and a mattress on the floor. There's no way that anyone can hear what I'm going to tell them.
—
I'm stressing out as I walk to the training room, a place I know for a fact Aaron and Kenji will be, they always train, every morning, at this time.

"You trust them, right?"

Suara has been speaking to me much more frequently, she's been helping me. It's been nice, she knows a lot about me, sometimes it scares but other times it's strangely reassuring.

"I do." I internally talk to her. "I trust them with my life, I have trusted them with my life."
"Then," she says, "what are you so nervous about?"
I think about it for a moment, "I am scared that someone will hear".
She giggles, "that's impossible, you know that".
She's right, I know she is. "Yeah..."
"Look," she says, "if I knew who it was, I'd tell you. I wish I did know." I hear her sigh, "I really wish I knew".
"How would you know?" I ask.
"Because I am at the RARE's base, I'm one of their 'prisoners'."
"What?" I ask, shocked. "You're trapped down there?"
"Yes. But I'm okay, you don't have to worry about me. If I do as they say I'm treated half decently."
"Can I ask you something?"
"Yes" she responds.
"What did all those numbers mean, the ones you kept repeating?"
"Oh," she awkwardly laughs, "that was my name in code, my real name."

I'm taken back. She was telling me her name.

"Can you tell me the numbers again?" I ask her.
"Once you've told them about your little plan, no more procrastinating."

With that she's gone. I'm alone, she left me to do this by myself, I know why she has, like she said I've been procrastinating all week. I was meant to do this on Monday. It's now Friday. I can't back out of this again, I have to do this.
—
The elevator door opens, I see Kenji on the running machines and Aaron lifting weights.
"Erm," I hesitated. "Can I talk to you both?"

They both immediately stop what they're doing, they look at me struck with fear. I have been sort of ignoring everyone for the past two weeks, I couldn't deal with everyone asking questions when I was working so hard to make a plan and then a whole different one, one the will get the RARE's in the right place at the right time so I can begin my actual plan, but the fake one needed to seem real.

"I know I have been really with it the last two weeks" I apologise, "I've just been... stressed".
Neither of them move, they look dumbfounded.
"I can't tell you what's been going on here." I explain, "but I can somewhere else".
———
Ons weeks earlier
AARON'S POV:
I wake up and Juliette's not there. I eat breakfast, she's not there. I train, she's not there. I have lunch, she's not there. I look over the soldiers, she's not there. I eat dinner, she's not there. I go to our bedroom, she's not there. She's only there when we go to sleep.

I can sense the panic in her, the heart wrenching fear. I feel her loneliness and her devastation. Her guilt and suffering. I want to make it all go away, I want her to let me help her, but she won't. She doesn't speak to anyone anymore, she never attends meals or comes to meetings. The only times I see her is when we are going to bed and even then she won't let me ask her what's going on. In the night I hold her tight against my chest, she smiles and it makes me sad to know that it's probably the only time in the day she has smiled. I think the only one who is close to being as concerned about her as me is Kishimoto.
That's why I'm heading to his room, with Adam and James, my brothers, to talk to him about it.
—
I knocked. Kenji himself opens the door.
"Hey." He says, slightly surprised.
"Can I talk to you?" I ask him. He nods and smiles, I assume he knows what this is about.

We walk to my office, he sits on the chair in front of me. "What do we do about J?"
I sigh, "that's what I was going to ask you".
"There's something clearly very wrong." He says, I already know though.
"Do you think something is wrong with her?" I ask. "Like is she ill or hurt?"
"I don't know." He said. "It may be best to give her time and space, when she wants to tell us she will. She's smart, if she's in danger she'd say something."

So that's what we do, we let her have some time and space, much to my dismay. I keep trying to go against it but Kenji always stops me. I just want to know why she's so upset, what's happened or what's happening?
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Word count: 1047