TeamFortress2's New Addition

Chapter Thirty-Four

When you both entered the kitchen, everyone had already sat down to eat. Quickly, you grabbed one of the croissant sandwiches and sat down at your spot at the table. Like routine, everyone's talking amongst each other except for you and, oddly, Sniper.

From what I've gathered, he's distant from the other mercs. Sure, he'll crack a few jokes here and there to diffuse a situation, but on his own he tends to stay in the back and unnoticed. I respect him, but it's hard to be completely comfortable around him. It's honestly hard to be around everyone here.

I can tell I've grown closer to all of them, but a part of me still doesn't want to let them in any farther than they've pushed. I guess that's the best way of saying it. Now that I think about it, I want to trust them, but I don't know them very well. I just want to talk to people my own age more often, but between the training and all the shit's that been put in my face, I don't have the time. Unless something stupid happens that'll keep me from texting them this afternoon, I need to talk to them.

You absentmindedly took a bite of your sandwich. This is really good.

"You feeling okay, Shiela?" Sniper peered down at you. He caught you staring off in space. You felt your cheeks flush with embarrassment.

"Yeah, I'm good. I was just thinking about something," You looked down at your sandwich, avoiding eye contact. Thankfully, Sniper didn't press you and went back to his lunch.

Slowly but surely, the mercs trickled out of the kitchen after finishing their lunch. You stayed behind, because today you were just eating slowly. No one paid attention to you, and you were a bit confused by that. Even Medic didn't make some snide remark.

Feeling slightly hurt and bored, you put your plate in the sink and slowly left the kitchen. You scanned the area for something you could help with. Scout was playing his game again while taking your advice and using a different strategy. Heh, strategy, because I'm a Strategist. Luck was with him, because he was actually doing pretty well. Go figure. Heavy was watching Scout, looking about as bored as you were. You were about to give up and try to talk to your friends when you noticed Soldier struggling to carry both laundry baskets. Okay, I can help out.

You walked over to Soldier and took one from him. He looked down at you from under his helmet and nodded before continuing to the laundry room. Huh, I guess this is just a chill day. You quickly grabbed your own dirty clothes and caught up to Soldier. Together, you silently separated the whites from the darks.

You had your head down while sorting when you heard Soldier chuckling. Confused, but already smiling, you looked to see him with your bra around his helmet like a hairband. They honestly looked like mouse ears. Funny, but creepy Soldier. Knowing it's just something to expect from Soldier, you nodded your head while trying not to look grossed out. Then you remembered something you had to tell him.

"Oh yeah, Soldier," you got his attention and he stood up straight. "The bras go in this bag for the laundry." Up showed him the bag. He took it from you and studied it like it was a rare gem he discovered. He turned it inside out, put his hand in it and twirled it around, and even put the bag over his head. He reminded you of a monkey that's trying a banana for the first time and you giggled softly.

"What's so funny, Cupcake?" He asked, still amazed by the small mesh bag and turning it back and forth between his hands.

"Nothing," you shook your head, smiling. "Let's just continue, okay?" He nodded, almost sad to see it go. Putting the bra that was on his helmet into the bag, he handed it back to you.

He loaded the whites into the washer while you put the rest of the bras into the bag and tossed them in. Soldier started the load and left the darks in a laundry basket. You both exited the laundry room, and you walked straight to your room. Locking the door behind you, you did a quick sweep of your room for Spy by waving your arms around like crazy. Thankfully, you didn't hit a Frenchman, so you hopped onto your bed and turned on your phone for what felt like the first time ever.

You had no notifications. No texts, emails, or missed calls. You didn't even get that dumb reminder from your puzzle game that you can pay for premium. You stared at your phone with furred eyebrows. Even when I was with them in school, they would text me on the phone constantly. Why haven't they said anything?

You click on Tiana's contact and type "Hey." You waited for five minutes while just staring at your phone. Usually she texts back within thirty seconds. Is she busy? You tried talking to any of your other friends. They gave you the same treatment. Okay, so I know it's not late in the day even with the time zones. Why are none of them responding?

Giving them the benefit of the doubt, you play games and watch videos for roughly an hour. It took a lot out of you not to check your messages every five seconds. Despite that large amount of time, when you checked your phone again, nothing changed. You leaned back onto your bed.

I shouldn't expect anything from them, I mean an hour isn't that long. They're all probably caught up with something. Maybe they're even together and going out, but I don't remember us ever doing that. What if it's me? Did I do something wrong?

A sudden realization crashed into like a wave, and you couldn't help but cringe.

I was really in the wrong last night when I shouted at Medic. Oh God.... As weird as it was for him to be up like that and walk in on me, he did have a question, and I fucking told him off. I can't believe I did that! Was it like some revenge for the movie? Why did I do that? Oh and I tried to play it off, too! I'd apologize, but Medic doesn't seem to care anymore. What is wrong with me? ...I wonder how they're doing without me.

Do they miss me, or do they not care? Are they still touring without me? Are they mad that I "chose a college" and left so suddenly? Do they want to spend time with me? Why aren't they responding?

The question circled you above your head as if it was taunting you. It teased you with the potential that you may never know the answer. It seemed to jab at you, provoking you knowing you don't have a way of answering it until they respond. Then, your phone dinged.

You rush over to check your notifications, only semi-realizing you're acting like a stereotypical girl, and find that it's a response from Tiana. Please tell me something good:

"Hey (Y/n)!!! I can't talk b/c I'm overrun with college planning. The orientation went well and I'm trying my best to remember everyone's names lol. It's been a lot. But yeah, I'll talk when I get the chance okay?"

Taken aback, you tell her it's okay and turn off your phone. She was the only one to respond, anyway. You had to take a moment to digest this new information.

Tiana was the only one who messaged to me. It's okay se couldn't keep talking, because I want her to enjoy getting ready for college. That's a good thing most people my age get to do. Tiana seems like she's doing well without me, but at least she misses me, right? The others do too, right? Are we still best friends? I know you have to move on, but this hurts. I need to try to talk to them more, but it seems like they'll be busy for a long time.

Are these new friends like my replacement? Would they purposefully do that? I know my friends, they don't do things like that. Did they already move on and just find a better version of me? No, that's stupid. Do they think about me often? No one really talked to me today, did they? I'm tired. Why am I jealous of people I don't know? I want my friends to be happy, and they're new to college so they especially need to focus on making new friends. But if I can't talk to them, I'll have no one my age that I'll know until I leave Tuefort.

Tears welled up against the back of your eyes, threatening to push through.

Did I really want this? Or did I think it would just be fun? Am I alright? Can I be strong? Do I just grow up and learn to deal with the people I have with me? Is that how it has to be? Today no one really talked to me. My day was fine until lunch time, and then people ignored me. I want to talk to someone, but no one wants to talk to me. I feel unplugged and distant from the world. Did I do this right? Was my decision the right one at the time? What did I do to myself?

You had your back up against the wall of your bedroom. Your hands clutched your head as tears trickled slowly down your cheeks.

Never in my life have I ever felt so disconnected.