Ghost Of You | Yoonmin

⚠ oo4 ⚠

oo4
"breaking point,"

trigger warning: mentions of self harm/self harm

_______

JUNGKOOK HAD NEVER SELF-HARMED BEFORE. The idea made him sick to his stomach and he often opted for other means as an outlet. Sometimes he wouldn't eat, or he would eat so much and the throw up. Other times he drank himself silly and would pass out for hours. But Jungkook had never thought of taking a blade to his wrist to handle things.

Until now.

He doesn't understand how he got to this point but somehow he found himself slumped against the edge of the tub in the dorm, sobbing hysterically with a bloody razor in his shaky hands.

Jungkook's day had been a shit show from the moment he lifted his head off the pillow. He'd slept through his alarm for his morning lecture, and only had about ten minutes to get to class. In a rush, he hadn't brushed his hair or his teeth, had put his sweater on inside out and mismatched his socks. He had forgotten half of his supplies for his courses and wouldn't have the time to run back and get them in between classes. He'd have to make due without them and pray for the best.

Praying was useless. On top of being completely unprepared for his classes, and not looking the least bit presentable, Jungkook's professor had really taken a go at him. He'd never liked Jungkook in the first place and the unwanted hate made Jungkook dislike him back. Not an award winning combination. He didn't believe Jungkook was actually mute and firmly believed that he was faking it to get out of group discussions. He also believed that Jungkook was faking every other illness he had, but then again, he believed that about all his students. No Excuses was his motto. You either showed up or you didn't and if you did you had to keep your mouth shut. It hadn't been the first time he'd gone at him like that but today he wasn't holding back on his insults and really gave it to him, telling him he had no business being here and that it was incredibly pathetic that he couldn't talk. He told Jungkook that he was wasting everyone's time by having them read whatever it was that he was trying to say and that he shouldn't even bother talking at all. Then he kicked him out of his class and told him to come back when he matured.

Needless to say, he was having a rough day.

The afternoon wasn't any better. It had started raining and of course, he didn't bring an umbrella, so naturally he got soaked. Add that to the snow and ice, he slipped and fell several times going classes and about half way said fuck it and slipped a couple more times going back his dorm. He was miserable and wet and on the verge of having a breakdown. He was struggling to breathe and forcing himself not to cry as he made his way back to his dorm. He just wanted to sleep at this point. Jungkook wanted to forget this whole day had ever happened.

Upon returning to his dorm, the rest of Jungkook's day went by in a bit of a blur. He stumbled inside, and showered to warm himself up from the cold. Flopped down on his bed and proceeded to cry for almost two hours, stopped crying and forced himself to eat something because he hadn't eaten anything all day. Threw that up half an hour later, and then got dressed before going back out again. Bought a bottle of whiskey, came back and down half of it before throwing up. Finished the rest, threw up again before sliding to the floor in the bathroom. Jungkook had never let himself get this bad before; he felt like shit sitting on the floor. He felt sick to his stomach, like he wanted to throw up again but there wasn't anything in his system left to throw up. This was worse than any panic attack he'd had before.