Ghost Of You | Yoonmin

o18

o18

"coming clean,"

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"CAN WE TALK?"

Those words haunted Namjoon as he made the commute to work that morning. Hearing that always made his heart leap in his chest. His mind was racing with all the things Yoongi could possibly want to talk about. His first thought was that he was having nightmares again - he hadn't spoken about them in awhile. But Yoongi sounded troubled over the phone, not in the way that he usually did when he talked about nightmares. Whatever it was, it scared him. He told Namjoon that he couldn't wait, that he needed to talk about it, and he wasn't ready to talk about it with Jimin. Yoongi said he was going crazy, so Namjoon cleared his morning, and told Yoongi to come in.

He found Yoongi in his office, waiting for him. His head was resting in his hands. As he rounded the corner of the couch, Yoongi briefly glanced up at him, and Namjoon noted that Yoongi not only looked incredibly stressed, but he was a sickly pale colour, and had dark bags under his eyes - an indication that he hadn't slept in a few days. In short, Yoongi looked like hell, which only worried Namjoon more.

Namjoon didn't know what to expect as he sat himself down across from him on the couch. Yoongi seemed to refuse to look at him - like if he ignored Namjoon long enough he might disappear. Namjoon sensed that maybe Yoongi wasn't ready to open up, but as he opened his mouth, Yoongi lifted his head in his direction. "Did..." Yoongi pursed his lips. "Did Jungkook ever tell you why I was depressed?" he questioned.

Namjoon shook his head. "No," he replied, leaning back in his seat. "Jungkook didn't talk about people at all during our sessions. The only time he mentioned you was through group, and you were referred to as the 'sad friend'," Namjoon explained.

Yoongi swallowed the lump in his throat. "I'm sure you know about..the car accident, right?" he asked. Namjoon nodded.

"Yes, and we are all fortunate that all three of them are alive,"

"Yes, alive," Yoongi murmured. Yoongi looked away from Namjoon.

"Yoongi, It's obvious that something is bothering you. I want to help you, and you know that, but I can't do my job unless you tell me what's going through your mind," Namjoon sighed. "I can see that you're not ready to open up about the incident, but you called me here for a reason..."

"I don't know how to talk about it," Yoongi admitted in a low voice. He squeezed his eyes shut. "Jungkook is already going through enough with Taehyung, and Jimin has Jae to worry about, I can't become his main focus, not now. She needs him more than I do, and I didn't know who else to talk to."

"Why haven't you spoken about it to Jungkook? I understand that he's worrying about Taehyung but he's your brother, I'm sure he'd make the time for you,"

"Jungkook isn't my brother," Yoongi whispered. "Not by blood that is, but he's more so the younger brother I never had,"

Namjoon's eyes widened. "Oh I-"

"And talking to Jungkook about it doesn't help. We both know what happened, and we tip toe over it all the time. It only makes things worse, I don't feel like I'm getting better, I feel like I'm becoming more depressed...I've come close to drinking again- all I can think about it the incident, and I have this urge to get drunk just so I can get a moment's peace," Yoongi explained.

Namjoon lent forward, propping his elbows up on his knees, and resting his chin on his hands. He didn't know how to proceed. Yoongi ran a hand over his face. He let out a sniffling sound. Yoongi's bottom lip was trembling, and tears were welling up in his eyes. He inhaled sharply and exhaled shakily.