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o31
"forgive me father, for I have sinned,"

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YOONGI DOES NOT REMEMBER HOW HE ENDED UP HERE. It was like his body took complete control as he succumbed to his grief - functioning entirely on it's own as he retreated into the back of his mind. His body curled up on the floor and cried angrily, tugging at the roots of his hair. His body found his wallet and sweater. His body then stumbled out into the evening to the local liquor store. His body purchased a bottle of vodka, and a bottle of whiskey, and stumbled it's way home to drink away the pain. His body drank the entirety of one bottle and had to frantically rush to the bathroom to puke it all up. His body made it halfway through the second bottle before throwing up again. And at some point, his body chose to smash the empty bottle against the edge of the tub, and searched for the sharpest pieces. Yoongi had slashed through one wrist and was working his way through his other before he realized what he was doing. The shock of Han's departure had worn off, and was replaced by the horror of his own actions.

His head was throbbing, and he couldn't think properly. His brain felt foggy and heavy - like he was surrounded by a cloud of fog. What time was it? How long had he been at this? Oh god, Jimin! Where was Jimin? Yoongi forced himself to stare at his arms, to figure out the scope of the damage he'd done. He let out an almost inaudible gasp of horror. There was so much blood, it gushed from the wounds, and spilled onto the tile floor, staining it with a stick red. He couldn't tell where the wounds started, how many there were or in which directions they went, all it did was pool out of him.

Jimin. Yoongi's first thought was Jimin He was supposed to be here - they were... Yoongi's mind blanked. Everything was hazy. He couldn't remember why Jimin was coming, but he knew that he was supposed to be here. He needs to get up - has to wash away the blood, has to wash the blood off so Jimin doesn't see. He heaves himself to his feet, only to feel a wave of nausea wash over him, and slump back down to his knees. His hands smacked against the tiles, sending a sharp, excruciating pain up his wrists. Yoongi felt as if someone had knocked all the air out of his lungs in that moment as he cried out in pain.

He can hear his phone ringing - it's in the room with him, but where? He doesn't need to see the screen to know it's Jimin (he'd joke about perfect timing if the situation was different). After fumbling around for it in a hectic manner - his vision is blurry due to the loss of blood.

He's lying on the floor now though, fingers numb and barely working as he swipes at the screen. The cool tiles of the floor felt nice and inviting against his skin. It reminded him of Han. He does manage to unlock his phone, and answer the call. He felt relieved the moment he heard Jimin's voice.

"Hey baby, I'm just leaving now,"

Ignore ignores that and tries to tell him he was in trouble. He only managed to choke out Jimin's name in a garbled mess.

He was so tired. Yoongi wanted to sleep. Yeah, sleep sounded nice - his eyes flew open. No. Don't go to sleep. Don't close your eyes. Stay alert.

"Yoongi? Are you okay?" Jimin's voice is filled with concern.

"N-Nuh-No," Yoongi stammered. His emotions are taking over now, and he's crying silently on the floor of his bathroom, bleeding out. He doesn't want to go anymore.

Stay awake.

Stay alert.

"Yoongi?"

"I..." he takes a deep breath, hiccuping. "I'm n-n-n-not o-oh-oh-k-kay," he hiccuped again.

"Are you drunk?" Jimin questioned.

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