Chapter 72 - The devil's grasp

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Warning: Please take a deep breath before proceeding 


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San whirls around, the cutlass in his hand drops onto the floor with a loud clunk. Relieves to see that I stop him from committing a foolish action, I, on the other hand, can't stop my momentum from crashing into him.

San reaches out his hand to catch me. At that moment I stumble on my own feet and fall down, sending the tray and food in the air and unfortunately, the soup splashes into the combatant.

Salted meat, hardtack, bowl, plates, and the tray scatter around me. I watch the disaster that I caused while sprawling unsightly right in front of San. Ignoring the pain and embarrassment, I quickly stand up as if nothing happened.

Fortunately, this is San, he won't humiliate me unlike the others. Still, because it's San, I don't know what he thinks. Perhaps he curses at me with that blank face.

Then I spot pieces of vegetable and meat attached to his chest and abs. "O-oh my god, I-I'm so sorry. Did the soup burn your skin?" I brush them off from his body. His skin is cool to my touch. There're traces of scars and new scratches from the battle this dawn.

That's when I realize he's shirtless.

My face flares and my hands froze in the air. I've committed another foolish action in a row. I slowly retract my hands to my side and sheepishly look up to meet his eyes behind his messy fringe, they're pitchless black, a storm of emotions swirling inside. San extends his hand to touch my face. His cold fingers gently caress my bruised cheek.

"I can't protect you." His raspy voice echoes in a quiet room, a hint of bitterness in his tone. "The witch hurt you because of me."

I immediately frown. Does he blame himself for my injury?

"It wasn't your fault. You did your best protecting me. You were even injured because of me." I peer at the thick cloth wrapped around his upper arm where the monster bit him and feel hot in my eyes. If I didn't lose San dagger, he wouldn't get hurt and the damage would be lessened.

However, my words seem to not reach him as his expression became even more hardened. His jaw clenches, his hand on my face trembles.

"You're not a dagger, you're a human that can also get hurt." I quickly added, hoping that he wouldn't take the role of being my dagger too far.

"I'm a monster." He seethes, losing in his trance. He lets go of my face and raises his monstrous arm up, glaring at it with such hateful look as if he can't wait to get rid of it.

So he was going to cut off his arm earlier. If I came in too late, would he really cut off his arm? I shudder from the realization.

"Even with that arm, you're still the same person! You're not a monster!" I unconsciously shout out loud. Yet, he's still in his own thoughts and it starts to scare me. He always does unpredictable things. He never reveals his feelings or thoughts to anyone. Though he has been open up more than in the past, this incident is proof that his trauma hasn't healed.

Grabbing his face, I force him to look at me. "Don't do something stupid. It's your arm, it just looks different. We'll fix it together so promise me you won't do anything silly again!"

San lowers his monstrous arm down and turns to me, quietly staring into my eyes.

"Promise me." I repeat, trying to force an answer out of him.

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