It's All About You ⌘ Joe Sugg ✓

Chapter 77

"C'mon, let's get you some tea. Or do you want coffee? Milo?" Sophie says after a long period of my weeping and her wordless comforting. The air is literally stinging my eyes, so I keep them screwed shut as I pull my hands away from my face. Sophie helps me up from the bed even though I am perfectly able.

It suddenly dawns on me that I haven't eaten a single thing since waking up this morning, and although I have no idea to eat or drink, I'm going to need some strength to keep me going.

"I'll have some coffee if you have it Soph, thanks." I say tiredly in response to her question.

Sophie doesn't pry me for information or ask a single question as she leads me gently back into the lounge. She gestures for me to sit down on the couch and switches on the radio before heading into the kitchen to make some hot drinks. I stare nonchalantly out the lounge window, watching the occasional seagull soar past, or the shiny blanket of cars creeping over the road down below.

I suddenly hear the familiar chords of Thinking Out Loud start playing over the radio. My chest feels unbearably tight, and that unforgiving lump in my throat rises up even further. Hearing that song brings back memories, memories that are now unbearably painful for me to even think about.

I reach for the stereo remote and hastily change the station, perhaps trying to chase away the thoughts of Joe by changing the song. The room is filled with another unrecognisable song, and I can breathe normally once more.

I sit still while waiting for Sophie to bring my drink, my eyes dry and my mouth shut. I feel stripped bare, as if I am stranded naked on a desert island with no water to drink nor a single shred of hope. I feel lost, despite the fact that I know my precise physical location - my mind is wandering, drifting away. I need something to distract myself from the burning regret within me and the impending doom that is heading my way.

Sophie returns with a steaming mug of coffee in her hand, which I take gratefully. The liquid scalds my tongue, however I take large sips - I relish in the pain, the stinging sensation that clears my thoughts. The steam drifts up from the mug and clouds my vision slightly, but it doesn't bother me. Truth be told, the world isn't really worth looking at either way.

Sophie sits beside me with her own mug of coffee and the two of us sip continuously, a silence between us that is neither demanding or distant. She is just there, a support that is ready to catch me should I fall.

"I don't know where he is..." I utter finally, breaking the silence. I stare down at the sodden dregs of my drink, the black coffee beans a stark contrast against the white mug.

"He won't be far from here. There is no way Joe would leave the country, he's probably just going for a drive to cool off." She says. Although her words are said in order to comfort me, I don't feel the effect. I simply continue to stare blankly at the bottom of my mug, unable to shake the thought that he is gone. Vanished. Out of my life completely.

"I should never have kissed Nathan. It was a stupid, stupid thing to do. Now I've gone and pissed him off as well as Joe. It's a fucking mess." I say bitterly, resisting the urge to hurl my cup across the room. Instead I place it down on the coffee table rather firmly.

"In my opinion, Joe is the one being stupid." Sophie says, her tone matter of fact. I have to pause for a few seconds in order to comprehend what she is suggesting. I turn to face her, disbelief probably written all over my face.

"What?"

"You heard me. Joe is being a selfish bastard." She says firmly, the expression on her face resolute. I blink multiple times, considering the harsh accusation she seems to be making.