Chapter 80

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Listen to the song before/after/while you read the chapter <3 enjoy >~<

Joe's POV

I could've stayed there forever - lying next to Eila with my arm slung over her waist, feeling the steady movement of her breathing against my chest. I felt every thing - every soft movement of her cheek against the pillow, every small thump of her heartbeat.

I didn't go to sleep - although every instinct in my body was begging me to drift into oblivion. My eyes remained open, focused on the sleek brown waves that fanned out in front of my face. They smelt so familiar, as if the scent of her shampoo was home to me.

Minutes turned into hours but I barely noticed - no amount of time with her would ever be long enough for me.

Eventually the light in the room began to fade away as the sun was replaced by the moon - the air was slightly cold and it prompted me to pull Eila's body ever closer to my own, my selfish need to have her next to me overpowering everything else.

Never once did I think about everything that had happened between us, or the likelihood that this illusion of contentment would shatter completely the second she opened her eyes. I only felt the heat of her body and the gentle rhythm of her chest moving up and down.

I am still lying next to her now, and countless hours have passed since I first came into the room. I have no idea where Sophie is and I don't have the desire to find out. I am just counting the seconds until she opens her eyes and I have to face reality and all the pain it brings.

When she finally does shift in her sleep, I remove my arms from around her and shuffle over to the edge of the bed. I watch as she slowly lifts her head from the pillow, completely unaware of my presence. I swallow down hard at the lump in my throat as she sits up in bed and turns around so that her sleepy gaze lands on me.

"Joe!" She exclaims in a raspy voice, while blinking rapidly as if she thinks I am some kind of apparition.

"Hey..." I saw weakly, unable to come up with anything else to say. I mentally kick myself, cursing my inability to handle situations like this. I've never been good with this kind of thing.

"What... What are you doing here?" She says tentatively, her entire demeanour unsure. It's as if the metre of space between us is far more than that, and the separate sides of the bed are two ends of a gigantic cavern. We can either jump into the unknown together or we could back away to safety. Both options scare the living hell out of me.

"Sophie rang and told me about Nathan... I had to come." I say, biting my lip and staring at the bed sheets.

"Oh..." She says, and after this she exhales loudly, as if she is beyond fed up with the world and all of it's cruelty. I can still sense an void between us we sit quietly, so I don't shuffle towards her just yet.

"Well... I'm sorry..." She says in barely more than a whisper, and when I look into her eyes there is a raw desperation in them, along with the lingering glint of grief that has been there for the last month. She clasps her hands together tightly as if she is making some silent prayer.

"Don't apologise... You don't need to. It was me that acted wrongly, I'm the one that should be saying sorry." I say, while slowly inching towards her. Her eyes follow my movement and I can instantly sense that her heart is beating harder than it was previously. So is mine.

"No... I kissed Nathan. I should never have... I was stupid." She says, and her voice is beginning to tremor slightly. Her eyes are also misting over, as if they are being threatened by an incoming storm of tears.

"So we both fucked up. People do sometimes." I say, and I feel my heart hammering hard against my chest as I move even closer to her on the bed. The only light shining on her face comes from the city lights outside the window, and I can barely see her features. I can just see the gleaming of tears trickling down her cheeks, their trails catching the soft glow.

It's All About You ⌘ Joe Sugg ✓Where stories live. Discover now