It's All About You ⌘ Joe Sugg ✓

Chapter 57

Eila's POV

"This feels like de ja vu, doesn't it..." Joe says as he stares blankly at the tv screen which is currently off. The coffee I gave him is still half full and probably cold, the cup clenched in his hand.

"How so?" I ask, taking a sip of my own mug. It tastes disgusting and I resist the urge to run to the sink and spit it out. Perhaps thats why Joe isn't drinking his own.

"Caspar is always randomly walking out of here - it seems like that's all he's been doing since the whole Zoe incident." Joe says, his voice downcast.

I have to agree with him on that one. It feels like Caspar is forever storming, stomping and slumping out of the apartment, each time for a different reason. The poor guy just can't seem to catch a break and I can tell it's tearing him up inside. I couldn't gauge a reaction from him after I gave him that letter, and he seemed so emotionless when he left the apartment. It has been almost half an hour since he left and I'm wondering what the hell he is doing.

I walk over to the kitchen and slowly tip out the mud brown liquid into the sink. It makes a loud splattering noise that breaks the silence in the room. When all of the coffee is gone I place the mug on the bench and turn to look at my boyfriend.

He just looks so tired - his hair has lost that shiny, luscious look to it. His skin is looking pale and washed out, all of the usual colour in his cheeks faded away. His lips are drawn into a tight line and I can tell he is frowning by the light crease lines on his forehead. I just want to run my finger over each of those lines and soothe his pain, erase every last ounce of sadness and frustration from within him. I just want him to be that smiling, laughing Joe that I love so much.

I bite my lip with such strength that I'm surprised I don't start bleeding - I have so much pent up anger about everything. I just want to go back to those early days, back before Bestival and everything that followed. Everything seemed so happy and carefree back then. It feels like it's been so much longer than three weeks since all of that shit happened.

Just when I'm about to suggest we go to bed and try to forget about everything I hear the door creak open. Joe jolts his gaze away from the screen and cranes his neck towards the entrance way, his eyes actually hopeful instead of exhausted.

I have to blink a couple of times to make sure I'm not hallucinating. It's Caspar - but he looks different. His cheeks are flushed a deep red, giving him more colour than he's had in days. His hair is sticking in every direction, obviously disturbed by strong wind - but the thing I notice the most is his eyes. They don't look dead, they look lively. And, low and behold, he is smiling. The skin by his eyes creases and from that I can tell his happiness is genuine.

"Cas?" Joe says quietly, his voice slightly hoarse. My heart pounds in my chest as I watch Joe stand up from the couch, his eyes wary. I can tell he is carefully controlling his facial expressions, his voice, his movements - all in a desperate attempt to preserve this illusion. Except it isn't illusion - Caspar Lee is really standing there with a grin on his face.

"Hey Joe." Caspar says, his voce filled to the brim with emotion. No longer does Caspar's voice sound hollow and monotone - in fact the sound of him talking sends a flurry of butterflies into my stomach. I feel a giddy smile spread over my lips, my excitement pretty much uncontainable.

I watch Joe's face light up slowly as he approaches his best friend. What I witness next is perhaps the most heart wrenching display I have ever seen.

Caspar steps forward and wraps his long arms around Joe, and Joe does the same. The two squeeze each other so hard that I can tell their breathing is limited. I can see Joe's face from the kitchen where I'm still standing, and his eyes are screwed shut probably in an attempt to hold back tears. My mouth falls open slightly and I shut it, my eyes already becoming misty from the emotions rushing through me.