OUTCAST | SIRIUS BLACK

CHAPTER ONE-HUNDRED-TWO

OR MY BLOOD WILL BE ON YOUR HANDS
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Christmas break gave Seraphina the opportunity to truly consider Dumbledore's offer about joining the Order of the Phoenix. Upon her return to Hogwarts, Seraphina had made a decision. Talking to Regulus on King's Cross truly became the tipping point; she couldn't leave him to suffer the rest of his life for a decision he'd made as a sixteen year old, pressured by his family's expectations.

"I will help," Seraphina told the headmaster, sitting down across from him in the exact same place she'd been seated when he told her about the Order at the beginning of last term. "But it will be on my terms."

"On your terms?" Dumbledore asked, watching her curiously.

"I want Voldemort defeated as much as anyone but I have no intention of throwing myself head first into a situation that will get me killed," Seraphina said, straightening in her seat to appear more confident. "If you think he'll approach me, I'll let him. But I won't seek him out in any way. He'll come to me, not the other way around."

Seraphina wanted some illusion of control. Last time, Voldemort – or Tom – had sought her out when she was alone and unprepared. He'd manipulated the situation to get her alone one time which meant that he could do it again. It was not something she could prevent and therefore she'd also not fight it. If he wanted to manipulate her into helping his quest for power, she could let him believe he was succeeding.

"And the second I want out, you'll help me," Seraphina added. "Or my blood will be on your hands." When the headmaster opened his mouth to respond, she cut him off, "Spare me of any lies or false assurances. Everyone who joins your Order does it with their lives as the stake – spying on Voldemort is practically a death sentence."

"I won't lie to you, Sera," Dumbledore said. "It is a dangerous mission I am asking you to go on. The wizarding world will owe you a debt-"

"I won't have much use for their debt when I'm buried six feet under," Seraphina reminded him. "Who will know of this mission?"

"In these times it's difficult knowing who we can trust," Dumbledore sighed. "The fewer people who know, the smaller is the risk of Voldemort finding out you're a spy for the Order. Your friendship with some students whose families are openly against his and your relationship with Mr. Black will be enough for Voldemort to suspect your motives. We can't risk any rumours circling back to him."

"So I tell no one," Seraphina concluded. It was probably for the best either way.

Arthur and Molly — even Bilius — would lose their minds with worry if they found out she'd fight against Voldemort instead of getting a job after graduation. Meanwhile James, Remus and Peter would definitely all freak out completely and threaten to lock her up if they heard she'd be anywhere near Voldemort and his Death Eaters.

Sirius definitely would do something reckless and stupid to save her. Under normal circumstances, Sirius could be considered a loose cannon. Finding out Dumbledore wanted to let Voldemort convince her to join him surely would push him over the edge.

"What is the plan when people ask me what I'm doing?" Seraphina wondered. If she had to do this, she needed a thoroughly thought out plan; winging it did not feel like a good idea. "Or should I get a job after graduation too?"

"I believe Professor Slughorn mentioned you have an ambition of becoming a Curse Breaker," Dumbledore mused. "I have some contacts at Gringotts and with your grades I don't see any reason why they wouldn't want to hire you once you graduate."

"I have a feeling the goblins won't be very happy employing someone who won't work," Seraphina deadpanned. Gideon and Fabian didn't have time for a job with all the missions they did for the Order of Phoenix. "Unless you think Voldemort gives out vacation days."

Dumbledore chuckled, "As you might now, there is no official training programme for those who wish to pursue a career in Curse-Breaking. Once you're hired by the bank they will expect you to learn on the job. In my experience, the goblins don't care much about how and where you find treasures as long as they get brought back to Gringotts," he ended with a knowing glint in his blue eyes. "It will also give you a reason to be away for longer periods of time should that be required."

"Sounds good," Seraphina nodded. She had absolutely no idea what this mission meant for her upcoming years. For all she knew, Voldemort would kidnap and kill her instead of attempting to win her loyalty. "And this way I can get killed by some old curse long before Voldy gets the opportunity."

"I can't think of anyone that I'd trust to complete this mission better than you," Dumbledore told her encouragingly. "Now I believe it's time for you to retire for the evening, Seraphina. Professor McGonagall will be very displeased if you sleep through her class in the morning."

"Sure," Seraphina stood up. "I'll see you next week, headmaster."

Just as Seraphina was about to leave, Dumbledore stopped her, "One more thing," he said. "I thought I should tell you that there are a few students that I'll ask to join the Order of the Phoenix when they graduate. A few of them being the Seventh Year Gryffindors."

"All of them?" Seraphina asked, grinding her teeth together.

"I believe they'll make valuable contributions to our cause," Dumbledore confirmed. "I wonder if you'd want to be here when I ask them-"

"No," Seraphina shook her head. She knew her friends too well — they were all too Gryffindors sometimes.

James and Sirius would jump on the opportunity to fight against the Dark Lord without a single thought about their own safety — as would Marlene and Dorcas. Peter would join whatever his friends were doing and Remus's good heart accompanied by that Gryffidnor chivalry would defeat all sense of reason; Alice and Lily would also just want to make a good difference in the world.

There was absolutely nothing Seraphina could do to prevent them from putting themselves in danger once Dumbledore asked the question. So she'd rather not be there to witness it.

"Risking my own life is one thing — watching the ones I love throw away theirs — that's not something I need to be there for."

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Sorry for filler chapter, I've had a stressful week😅