Avengers Imagines (Part One)

Thor Odinson X Reader - Hard Times

A/N - This chapter is based on the song 'Hard Times' by Paramore. I hope you all enjoy it.

You had never thought you would see such a dark side to Thor. He was the strongest person you had ever met, and he had taken every beating that had been thrown his way, but ever since Thanos had come to earth, he'd seemed lost. 

In all honesty, it had been a little scary, seeing him gradually break. It had started with not taking care of himself. He'd stopped showering regularly, and his training regime had gone straight out of the window. And then he'd stopped leaving the house, pretending that everything was completely normal whilst you watched him completely change in front of your eyes. 

At first, you had assumed it would all blow over on it's own. Everyone had shit days and with the way things had gone it made sense for him to be at his lowest. But then, as time continued to pass he showed no signs of going back to how he was before, and it made your heart ache. He was in pain, and there was nothing you could do about it. 

The darkness had reached it's worst point one evening whilst you were sleeping. Thor often stayed up later than you, playing video games in the living room whilst you slept, but usually he would come and crawl into bed beside you at some point. But this night, when you had been startled awake by a crashing sound in the other room you had been shocked to find yourself alone. 

You slowly climbed from the bed, padding across the bedroom to poke your head through the door, only to find Thor standing in the middle of the living room, his controller shattered at his feet. 

"Baby?" you uttered, watching as he winced, realising he had been caught. "What happened?" 

"Nothing. Go back to bed," he mumbled, taking a few steps away from you to slump onto the sofa. You watched silently as he buried his face in his hands, releasing a deep sigh. 

Thor knew you well enough to know you wouldn't be going back to bed any time soon, and it came as no surprise to him when you knelt on the sofa beside him, your hand rubbing soothing circles on his back. "I think you need to start talking," you finally murmured, breaking the silence and causing him to look up at you with tear filled eyes. 

"There's nothing to-"

"I know that you want to pretend everything is normal," you interrupted, your tongue darting out to wet your lips as you carefully considered your next words. "But it's very clear that something's wrong, and you need to speak to someone about that. It doesn't have to be me, but I can't stand by and watch you kill yourself." 

For a moment, he looked as though he was going to argue, like he wanted to correct you and fight against the notion that anything was amiss. And then his entire face softened, and he leant forward to press his face against your collarbone, releasing a shaking breath. "I ruined everything," he breathed out, and you shifted to run your fingers through his hair, holding him close. "I had the chance to save everyone and I fucked up."

"You didn't know-"

"I should have known." 

You stayed quiet for a moment, your eyes drifting closed. "You can't keep blaming yourself for something he did," you told him, your voice softer than he had ever heard it before. "They're gone, and that's always going to be painful, but they wouldn't want you to destroy your own life to punish yourself." The two of you stayed like that for a while, huddled close together on the sofa wishing that your lives could have been different. "I'm going to give you a number for a therapist. Tony made me call her when I was having trouble adjusting to the team, and she was really helpful-"

"I didn't know you went to a therapist," Thor uttered, pulling back slightly to glance up at you. 

You gave a small shrug. "I never thought it was important," you started. "I mean, half the team were seeing therapists at some point or another. I guess I just assumed you already knew." You paused for a moment. "You would never consider me weak, right?" you uttered, watching as he shook his head, a look of pure confusion painting his face. "Then why would you think it would make you any weaker to ask for help?" 

Thor released a soft sigh, pulling you into his lap as he leant back onto the sofa fully. It was so reminiscent of the way he had held you before everything had happened that it knocked the air out of you for a moment. "I don't think I've ever told you how smart you are," he mumbled, watching you huddle closer to him, your arms wrapping around his middle. 

"No," you uttered, pressing your head into the gap between his shoulder and his neck, and finally settling into a comfortable position. "I don't think you have."

He snorted at your comment, his hand running up and down your spine as the two of you got comfortable. "Well, I am in complete awe of the way your mind works, Sweetness." 

You hummed your understanding, so comfortable that it took you a moment to think up a response. "Does that mean you'll take my advice?" you asked him, craning your neck slightly to meet his eyes with yours. 

"I'll call your therapist in the morning." The small smile you graced him with was something to be marvelled at, and he felt all the stress disappear, if only for a moment. "Thank you for being here," he added, reaching up to push your head back onto his shoulder, as you released a contented sigh.

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