What if I ain't no violinist?

76. Twoset Pest Controllers III

Brett opened his front door and greeted his guest with a warm smile.

"Hi, Eddy, welcome. Come on in."

His guest, Eddy, smiled back.

"Hi, Brett. Thanks."

It was Eddy's first time over at Brett's place. It was still the early stages of their relationship. Brett operated his own pest control business and was not scared of any bugs. Eddy on the other hand was not a fan of insects and therefore was promised by Brett that he didn't keep any creepy crawly pets before he agreed to set foot in Brett's house. Now you probably would not believe Eddy used to be a Pest Controller as well – though he did get fired on his 3rd day. It just wasn't the job for him, being so scared of cockroaches. But the two were mutually drawn to each other and here they were.

As they sat in Brett's living room and chatted over coffee, Eddy suddenly froze when he noticed something on the wall behind Brett. He was so grateful that he didn't take that seat.

"Brett....."

"Yes, Eddy? What's the matter?"

"B..behind you.."

Brett turned around as he spoke.

"What? Oh.. hi Fred."

"F.. Fred?"

"Yeah, he's a male huntsman. You're okay with spiders aren't you?"

"Um..."

The moment Eddy showed hesitation, Brett got up from his seat.

"Hey it's okay, I'll put him outside. Don't fret, okay?"

Brett got up and grabbed the wide-mouthed bottle that was in the corner of his living room.

He gently placed it on top of Fred and then slid a piece of paper underneath. He carefully inverted the bottle and held the bottle in front of his face as he observed the huge hairy spider.

"Beautiful thing..."

Brett didn't stay like that for long though as he knew from experience that it creeped people out. He excused himself as he stepped out onto his veranda and carefully emptied the contents of his jar outside.

"He'll just make his way back inside if he gets too hot out there, but I'm sure he's happy to chill where I've put him for a while. He won't be back today so don't worry okay?"

OMG

"Okay, so that's Fred taken care of. While we're at it I suppose I should worry about Jane."

Eddy didn't want to ask but he felt like he had no option.

"...who's Jane?"

"Fred's girlfriend."

"..Of course."

"I actually don't let a Jane inside in spring in case she has her babies indoors... she has 200 babies in one go, it's a bit too much, even for me."

Eddy shuddered. Then tilted his head with a question.

"A Jane?"

"Well, they only live for about 2,3 years tops. So I'm sure I've gone through a few Freds and Janes already."

Brett chuckled but Eddy struggled to appreciate the joke and gave a warily smile.

Brett frowned.

"You don't find it amusing, do you?"

"Um.. no.. I'm sorry Brett I don't."

"OMG Eddy, I'm so sorry... "

"It's okay..."

"Look, I would never tease you or try to scare you with bugs, I promise. If you don't like something, it's gone, I'll take it out for you like I just did, yeah?"

"That's great... Otherwise, y'know, we'd just be two guys screaming and fighting over who's gonna get rid of it. This.. us is much better."

Brett looked relieved and smiled.

"That's really sweet.  I'm so glad you think that way."

"...So.. they aren't your house pets?"

"Oh, absolutely not!  I mean, I don't kill them because they eat other insects that I actually don't like... y'know, the ones that you particularly despise."

Brett was kind enough not to even mention the name of the insect.

"But no, Eddy, I definitely don't keep them as pets. I wasn't lying to you. I just like calling them Fred and Jane. These guys are quite monogamous and their courtship is quite cute... but no, we won't go into detail...!!"

"So, um, just out of curiosity, how did you know that was a Fred..?"

"Oh, Janes have a larger tummy, they're cuter, even though they are a hella more vicious. Although Jane usually doesn't eat Fred for dinner after they mate as some other female spiders do."

"OMG"

"Oh no, I'm sorry Eddy, I keep elaborating....!! I promise I'll try not to do that..."

"Brett..?"

"Eddy."

"...I'm so sorry to call you so late but.."

"Eddy? Is everything alright?"

"I need you."

"OMG what's wrong?"

"There's a Jane in my room."

"...Human or arachnoid?"

"Is that what you call it? Yeah, an arachnoid."

"Good, that I can remove for you."

"Will you? Can you come over now? Please? Otherwise, I'll have to suck it up with my Dyson and throw the whole thing out."

"Eddy, you don't have to throw away an 800 dollar vacuum cleaner to get rid of one spider."

"Just watch me, Brett, I'll do it if you can't make it."

"Geez, honestly it's okay. Just sit a bit away from it and let it move around if it wants to, best if you keep track of where it goes but don't try to shoo it or force it to move where you want it to go, okay? See you in like 20 mins."

"Don't worry, you couldn't pay me to go near that thing let alone attempt to move it...See you soon, please, okay??"

Eddy opened his front door.

Brett stood with a wide mouth jar held up in his hand.

"Brett!! You got here in 15 !! Thank you !!!"

"I figured the faster the better."

"OMG you have no idea how much I appreciate this...!!!!"

"Oh my, Eddy, well done, it is a Jane. I'm impressed."

"I was freaking out that it might suddenly burst and 200 babies would come out of her...!!"

"That's not how it works, don't' worry."

Brett decided not to go into detail about the egg sac since he had no idea if Jane already had one in Eddy's house.