6 months later in present track
My little bundle of joy,
It's been a while since I last wrote you, and a lot has happened in that time. Last I wrote you when you kicked my stomach for the first time. I felt your movement inside me, you were there in my womb, alive and breathing. I still remember how excited I was and the pure joy, it was one of the best moments of my life. You see, time has slipped out of my hand so quickly and in just 30 short days you will come into this world, and I am so excited. I'm looking forward to meeting you.
Your dad wants you to be girl, well I have no problem with you being a girl or boy. I just want you to be healthy. Even if you turned out a boy still your dad will love you a lot, it's just his silly wish nothing else. He is far more excited than me. He loves you more than I do.
Probably it's my last letter to you and in this one I will tell you about your mother because you might not get the chance to know your mother. I want you to know me through my letters. Today I want to talk to you about what it's been like for me while waiting for you to arrive in this world.
I still remember the day when the first time doctor told me about your existence. I never expected you on the first place, you were unplanned but most beautiful things of our life are always unplanned. You are more like an angle to me, my little bundle of joy. Then doctor told me that my case is complicated I might not survive, she told me that my womb is too weak to carry you. My baby my heart enough to carry you so I decided not to go for abortion. I choose to kill myself rather than killing you. You are far more precious to me than my own life.
I have been working on your room I'm almost done just a few more decorating things to do. You probably have the nicest room in the house. I hope you enjoy your room.
I had the baby shower a week ago and it was amazing. You received so many wonderful books, gifts, clothes, and toys from all our friends and family at the shower. Let me tell you my baby, you are already loved by so many people who haven't even met you yet.
I might not be there for you when you arrive but I want you to know that I'm always there for you. I'll always worry for your health, you are eating your food properly or not, you are learning what is important for you to learn. When you will grow up I will worry for your marks, choices and all the other things that you want in your life. I'll just pray for you and for your well being. Your happiness is really important for me, my tiny little child.
You just need to close your eyes you will find me there always with you. Mumma is waiting for you to come baby.
Come soon
Lots of love
Your Mumma
6 months passed and it feels like I didn't even had the time to blink my eyes, time has flown so quickly. Now I'm eight months pregnant and a lot has changed in this time between me and Manik. I would be lying if I say Manik wasn't there beside me all the time. In fact he was always by my side whenever I needed him. He never tried to hurt me in this months but our relationship was still cold. He is still unaware about my complications and I'm not planning to tell him anything.
Through the time the little life inside me gave me all the courage and happiness. I am content now.
Sometime I imagine what life would be with my baby, I love this little one in my womb but then I push the thought away and accept the reality the way it is, I have stopped imagining impossible things.
.
"Mr. Khurana I'm personally looking after everything and things are in my control. Don't worry I will handle everything." I closed the diary when I saw Manik entering inside. I kept it back in the cupboard.
"Manik, were you talking about Mr. Khurana's hotel project?" I asked after locking the cupboard.
"Yes, I was"
"Well I would like to know about it"
"Everything is done Nandini. We are organising the press conference for land inauguration. You don't worry about work, I will look after it."
"We were supposed to collect your reports today then what are we waiting for? Let's go" he added further. We made our way and came out of the house. We covered the distance in 10 minutes and reached the hospital. I knocked her cabin's door and nodded after looking up from the file. She gestured us to sit and we occupied the seat.
"Swati, how is she? I mean, is everything alright in her case?"
"Yes Manik things are..fine." She answered back, flipping through the files and my reports. She continued to struggle, I could understand it was difficult for her to tell lie and ditch her profession for her friend.
"I hope there aren't any complications in her case."
"Don't worry everything is good." The colour of her face turned white as she replied, till now I have forced her to keep my secret with her. I forced her to do the things she never wanted to do on the first place.
"'l'm prescribing some medicines to her. Can you bring them?" She wrote the medicines on a small paper, she ripped it off and handed it to him.
"Yeah sure" Manik went out of the cabin to purchase medicine.
"Nandini, I hope you know what you are doing." I didn't take a second to understand the real meaning of her words. She had been telling me the same thing from last 6 months.
"Trust me, Swati I know what I'm doing." I answered. I wanted to say yes I know I did something I shouldn't have but I'm not guilty about it. I don't regret my decision. I'm just afraid of being found out.
"Nandini, I hate myself whenever I lie to him. You should tell him everything. I as a doctor cannot deceive my patients." She expressed, I apathetically stared at the paper weight and wall watch. I just wanted to get away from this discussion.
"You are not deceiving anyone. You have been faithful to me from the start Swati. It's not your fault, don't feel guilty about it."
"But why don't you tell him everything?" I shook my head and pretended to be unfazed by her questions. We stared at each other for a while, her eyes had accusations and disappointment and mine were completely blank, not a trace of emotion was present.
"Even if I do it, trust me, he is not going to choose me. I already know his decision and I don't want him to make his choice on my face. He will tell me that I hold no position in his life and I'm not ready for that moment, it will hurt me." I wanted to tell everything that has happened between both of us. I wanted to tell her that all his concern, love and care was only reserved for his child. It had no connection with me.
"Then why are you doing this for him? You should choose your life. You should involve your family in this matter." She countered back, her voice etched with worry. I could see apprehension sparkling in her eyes.
"Swati, we both know that it's too late to do anything. The time is gone besides I want to give birth to my child." I dismissed the matter.
"It happened because of you Nandini, you tricked me into it. You wanted to wait until your three months pregnant and then see the results. I told you so many times that it will be too late. You wouldn't be able to get out of the situation but you ignored my warning and now you are dragging me in this mess." She accused, I felt a pang in the darkest corner of my heart where pain continued to knock but I refused to acknowledge it.
"Swati, please let's just not discuss it anymore. I have accepted things the way they are"
We were about to continue but a man in his fifties appeared out of blue. He entered without knocking the door.
"Dr. Swati, I'm sorry to disturb you but when Dr. Mishra is going to come? Arpita's condition is getting worst." He went breathless after the confession. He sounded completely shaken up and petrified. She drawn her attention towards him.
"Don't worry Mr. Somani I have already informed Dr. Mishra she will be here soon and I will come and personally check your wife. Just give me five more minutes."
"It's okay, Doctor but please come soon." He requested, blood drained off my face when I turned back to see the face of the person. I couldn't believe my eyes, I blink my eyes to have the clear vision. He was still standing there, he didn't disappeared. I wasn't day dreaming.
"Swati, who is this man?" I interrogated when he walked out, I had zillions of questions going in my mind but I didn't know how to phrase them properly without making her suspicious.
"Mr. Karan Somani, his wife is Dr. Mishra's patient, she is suffering form blood cancer last stage. You won't believe Nandini he literally stays with her 24/7. Though I can't see much hope in her case, poor man he will be heartbroken."She told me, I was shocked beyond measures. I was too horrified to think about the various possibilities that could turn out real in this situation. How looked exactly same as him, same face, same features, same voice.
"Swati, are you sure he is the same man?"
"Of course I'm, we met each other so many times. Dr. Mishra is my good friend. We sometimes discuss her case." I slightly bobbed my head as I lost the power of speech. How two person can look exactly same? Am I missing something?
"Nandini, please excuse me I need to check his wife. I'm sorry for leaving you like this but it's an emergency."
"No I'm fine. You can go."
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