the game ((yandere x reader))

LXXXIX- belittled

day 86

(Y/n) treasured every shower she took, it was probably one of the only things she could do by herself now because none of her housemates could stand the thought of anyone but them seeing (Y/n) without clothing on.

She understood that the very second they learnt how to put their egos aside or someone snapped and she was left with just one of them that this liberty would be taken away. Unless the person she was left with was Hana but Hana was by far the least likely to go on a murder spree.

(Y/n) had spent a lot of time thinking about the possibility of them killing each other and had sort of accepted that it would likely happen sooner or later despite how badly she didn't want it to. She'd also considered that at some point she may end up with just one of them- this had negative and positive consequences in her mind:

Of course she cared for (and possibly even loved) all of them very deeply and would miss them if they were to die but if she had just one partner maybe then she could finally feel more... More like a person instead of a material thing that they were always fighting over.

If she was just left with one person then there was no need for any of the jealousy or boundaries. (Y/n) did want to be intimate with them but she knew that if that were to ever happen then death was not just a possibility- it was an inevitability of anyone were to find out... Which they definitely would.

It was hard for (Y/n) not to have sex on the mind, she was constantly almost having sex but the most that would happen would be a hand grazing her underwear. Maybe her breast would be grabbed from time to time if someone was feeling especially brave but that was the extent of the excitement she'd get. She was very wary about pleasuring herself since she knew that any one of them could walk in at any moment.

That was another reason she liked the shower. She didn't have to worry about them walking in this way, getting herself off worked for the time being but it didn't make her any less frustrated. It wasn't even like she was a sex fiend who needed it all day everyday. She wondered how they all handled it but was too shy to ask about their sexual habits.

Once she was finished... Sorting herself out. (Y/n) ran her hand under the water to clean it and started washing herself with the provided shower gel. Her slightly weakened knees managed to hold her up for the duration of her shower.

She turned off the water, walking out and wrapped a towel around herself.

Sometimes (Y/n) felt bad about the way she felt, they were doing everything they could for her to make her happy and she still had all these hesitations holding her back. She truly wished she loved them the same as they loved her, it would make this so much easier.

There were times where she couldn't grasp their logic but prayed she could, and there were other times where vile old feelings of negativity would return to her but (Y/n) rejected those like a foreign object in her body. She just wanted to be able to trust and appreciate them which she could do for the most part but whenever she couldn't a bitter guilt would drag her down.

This was one of the many things she didn't wish to share with them, she liked to have a good idea of how each of them would react in any given situation but this was one thing where she couldn't be sure if they'd brush it off or make a big deal of it.

She walked out into her room and looked at the clock, she still had some time before breakfast. Owen was cooking a larger and therefore later breakfast for everyone.