Greed and Despond (Ban x Sin!Reader)

84

Throbbing.

Endless pulsations rippling throughout my entire body.

Every throb pressed down on my skull, crushed my brain and sent my heart into a frenzy.

No oxygen reached my lungs- all I could get were shallow, meek inhales. I couldn't breathe.

With every pulse that echoed painfully in my ears, I felt my body get pressed down, forced into a fetal position. Pushed into the floor with unimaginable force.

I wanted to crumple. Wither away and die as I blinked out into nothingness. Disappear. Cease my existence. Cut off my lifelines.

Anything to stop these painful echoes that ebbed down my will- the only thing keeping me from destroying everything around me. All it did was grind and grate at the little hope I had left.

Jericho was telling somewhere distant. Something about Ban. She seemed so far away.

Where... are they?

These pulsations filled my ears, screaming at me to give. To let the demon out. Give in- be the demon that would have ruled the underworld if given the chance.

I fell to my knees, clutching my ears. Tears tried to fall but couldn't- any other sensation would overload my body.

It was so loud.

The base of my palms dug into the side of my head, where demon markings writhed. They reached out, only to be ripped back to my body. I was a ball of darkness, the little human I had left covered. Smothered.

Choked by the rage.

Suffocated by the despondence.

Crushed by the impending doom.

My eyes stared wide at the floor, which seemed so distant and foggy. Any noise was cancelled out by the insatiable need to let loose.

I was shaking feverishly- not stopping to breathe or relax my muscles. I was tense, overwhelmed.

Why... why now would I have an episode?

The Ten Commandments are coming. Ban is kissing Elaine. The rest of the Sins might be dead. I don't have a family. The whole world will disintegrate as I watch the demons destroy everything again. Children will be slaughtered. Older sisters will be too scared to save their younger sisters. People will die. They will give their lives to beings of evil. All magic but dark will cease to exist. The grass won't be green. Animals will die. Horror will cover Britannia, and soon, the world.

Why do all these thoughts flood my head in such a detrimental moment?

Stop....

Words of hopelessness flooded me. Mingling with the throbbing and shaking. Consuming me.

Stop.

I felt myself move, but I wasn't in control. I was on autopilot, my brain had shut down.

Stop.

My body was moving, I felt it, but... it wasn't. I wasn't. It was something else moving me- instinct. Predatory instinct.

Stop!

I could feel my lips moving, but I didn't hear a word I said. I wasn't functioning. My body wouldn't move on my accord.

It's useless....

• Third Person •

"I'm freakin' out, man..!" Jericho heaved, eyes darting around. "I'm about to lose it!"