Daily Positivity

Update

Um, sorry for the recent disappearance and just inactivity on this platform, it's just that a lot of things in life have gone south from my physical to mental well-being.

Which has led me to take things slow as I don't want to act as if everything is okay and give false hope to an audience seeking reassurance and guidance on their walk with God.

When I, myself can't see the light anymore, following my inevitable fall back into sin which has not only brought me further away from God. But has also affected my relationships with friends and family members.

Considering whenever I'm in a state of deterioration, where I start losing motivation and myself in the process, I like to distance myself from others even though it is impossible. Due to the fact, that I attend a college and have to be around people, so it's a bit of a hassle.

However, things are beginning to get better as I have to slowly realize that no one is coming to save me, so while the world sees this moderately happy guy; behind closed doors, I am mentally having apart as I lose faith in whether or not I will ever overcome this. 

Which to be honest, is a lie in itself from Satan as God has helped me on numerous occasions whether I know it or not, overcome obstacles, I could never dream of surpassing on my own. 

From something small like an exam to my desire to self-pleasure, which I know is wrong and immoral, however, it's the classical example of if you give someone an inch they'll a mile.

Meaning when the Devil would tempt me after a period of absence from such acts, where I started to get back on my fire for God. I would ignore it, instead immediately reciting scripture or even saying a quick to God asking for strength, which would lead me to slowly falling into the devil's clutches.

As I held the belief that I was strong enough to get over this on my own, and oh boy am I not... but overall while it has been tough it not going to lie. Yesterday was a wake-up call for me and while I am nowhere near where I was before my spiral back into porn, self-infliction, depression, and suicidal thoughts.

All the way back in late February to now, almost 2 months to be exact or less, things are starting to look brighter I know this may sound cliche but don't stop trying for eventually you will overcome it. Also, do seek help when it gets to be a bit too much and you can't see just how much of an impact you have on others from friends and family. 

Before doing anything drastic; know that you are loved and adored by the people close to you, who may not know your struggle but are surely in some way shape, or form relying on you. So when you can't be strong for yourself stop and think about the people you are leaving behind and how they will feel if you take your life away.

"For our lives are not our own. From womb to tomb, we are bound to others. Past and present. And by each crime and every kindness, we birth our future." - David Mitchell

So to wrap things up while I may be dying on the inside, God by some miracle chose to breathe life back into me. So who I am to decline this opportunity and continue wallowing in self-pity over spilled milk when there are millions you would die for the chance to be alive one more day? 

In conclusion, have faith that things will be better for without hope, how will we ever know just how far we may go, down this road called life? For while we may feel like we are a disappointment to God and ourselves, who can barely muster the courage to speak to the one who created and knows us by our names and the amount of hair on our heads.

We must remember, "that nothing can separate us from the love of God, for it is through his love for us that we are more than conquerors." (Romans 8:31-39) So do not allow the Devil to steal your shine for from the the day you were born you were destined for greatness.

So stay safe and do know this, you are a blessing and not a curse for the world is a better place with you than without you. ✌️😊❤️