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by CarmenKB

by CarmenKB

"Why are the girls so stupid in these movies?" I complain, shoving pieces of popcorn into my mouth.

My mom chuckles, "I don't know, honey. I guess that how these directors perceive women. Kind of stings. It's not like the guys are much better though. It's just to move the storyline forward."

"This is why I don't choose the movies," I laugh, "at least I'm better than Minho. He sucks."

"Hm, when did you meet him?" She questions, her voice having an unknown tone to it.

"At the beginning of this year in geometry. We helped each other out when we got stuck on problems and that's how it began."

The memory wasn't something I could completely remember, but it was something that kept my heart warm.

"Do you... like Minho?" She shifts toward me.

My jaw clenched when she asks. Biting my tongue, I nod, "yeah, he's like my best friend. Why would I invite him over so much?"

"Just wondering, baby. Your dad is coming home this weekend. He wants to do something on Friday with us, but we're not doing anything Saturday," she informs.

"Okay. Works with me," I shrug, not thinking about the small q&a she gave me.

I lay in my bed, wondering about how my mom sounded earlier in the day. She sounded like she was suspicious of something. Does she know? She did walk in on us when I was sick. Am I too obvious when he's over?

Panic fills my chest. I mean, guys sleep in the same bed all of the time without being gay. It's normal, right? She isn't questioning it. Maybe because I've never hung out with someone so much before.

Yeah, that's it. She doesn't know. Don't worry, Jisung. She hasn't questioned you or been cold towards you. It's okay. Just sleep. Stop thinking about it. It's fine.

5:29am

Okay, that worked out horribly. Just a stupid nightmare about my parents kicking me out because I like sucking dick. That's fine. That doesn't mean anything. It's fine.

I check the time. Mind as well take a shower. I get up, quietly walking to the bathroom.

While letting the water hit my shoulders, I stare at the wall, fear hitting me. I'd hide my sexuality forever if it meant my parents still loving me. I don't want them to disgusted by me. I just want them to be happy with me.

Without realizing, my tears flow while mixing in with the water. I clench my eyes shut, taking in deep breaths.

She won't question you. You'll be okay. It's gonna be fine. Just finish your shower and take your time in getting to school. Say hi to your friends. Kiss and hug Minho. Everything is fine. It's fine.

Why are you worrying so much?